Mc Lars - History's Greatest Assholes lyrics

[Intro] I got a new drum set, I'm testing it out Look what I can do mom - yo! So people always remember the good guys, but what about the villains? I-I-I've compiled a list of my favorite ones (turn me up) in rap form, for you, here we go The greatest a**holes, in more or less chronological order Here's a list of famous a**holes, let's start with this dude named Cain - he k**ed his brother, and that was just rude (family values) Brutus & Ca**ius were jerks, just a little Nero was no hero; Rome burned he played the fiddle Caligula could give you a night to remember Genghis Khan might tie you up, might lacerate your member And when it came to ballers there was Vlad the Impaler He'd run a stake up through you out your mouth to make you holla It's no mystery, history remembers Pirates pillaging, and villagers dismembered Vikings on a quest in their dragon-shaped boats Runnin up on castles, jumpin over moats Christopher Columbus rolled up with a fungus Pizarro and Cortes made the natives all say "Um this one-sided exchange, is not that nice" (run for your life) Like Henry the 8th, beheading wife after wife [Chorus] History's greatest, a**holeS [3X] I'm calling you out, I'm calling you out History's greatest, a**holeS [3X] I'm smoking you out, I'm smoking you out Benedict Arnold, and Oliver Cromwell (traitors) Napoleon Bonaparte, all wish it had gone well With blown apart plans, like Andrew Jackson A Trail of Tears, dividing families like fractions Jack the Ripper had bad morals like Lenin Stalin k**ed 20 million, and sent them all to heaven or hell I don't know, but one thing is for certain So many Russian people murdered, behind an iron curtain Gavrio Princip shot Franz Ferdinand which lead to World War I and a famous Scottish Band Which lead to World War II and freakin bodies everywhere At the Holocaust Museum there's a wall of shoes and hair On a rainy day in Amsterdam, tell me way I saw the Anne Frank house and it made me cry (she couldn't leave) So whistle while you work, Hitler was a jerk (no workers' comp) Mussolini was a weenie, a**hole's got some nerve! {Okay Lars the turn goes to you} I'll take compa**ionate athletes for 500 Alex! {This football player is also known as a strong advocate of animal rights} Who is Michael Vick? {I'm sorry Lars, but that is incorrect} Damn! [Chorus] Mengele was sick, with that scientific research Lamps of human skin blood up on his t-shirt Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh, Idi Amin All up in the jungle actin real mean Mark David Chapman shot a Beatle on the street James Earl Ray k**ed Martin Luther King Manson crashed parties and painted the town The Zodiac k**er has yet to be found It's an inside job trading junk bonds and derivatives Systematic risk, Wall Street greed is quite indicative 20 billion in the bank but y'all kept on spending k**ing our economy with subprime lending Vince Offer slapchopped a hooker in the face John Mayer said very awkward things about his race Charlie Sheen - wait hold up Everyone's rapping about Charlie Sheen right now and it's played out and boring and whack So I'm going to skip this part (good call) Biff Tannen well actually, his whole family I'm speaking candidly like, Colmes and Hannity It's insanity, they rapin everybody We tune in when it's shockin and we tune in when it's bloody Mel Gibson hittin women thinkin he can get away like OJ Oh wait, what would Dr. Laura say? Okay no way, yo I almost forgot George W. Bush, you got the number one spot! [slot machine jackpot sounds]