MC Hawking - MC Hawking Holiday lyrics

[Chorus] It's an MC Hawking holiday (yuh) Pulling drivebys in a one-horse sleigh (sing it) Decking the halls with DJ Doomsday (uh) It's an MC Hawking holiday (yuh) Here we go Rolling home from the party on December 24th Saw an object in the sky coming in from the north It slammed into the ground just a few feet away It was Old Saint Nick and his big-a** sleigh I said, "Yo Santa Claus, what you be doing here?" He said, "Got a little problem with one of my reindeer A mid-air collision with a pigeon's no joke Now Donner can't fly cause his leg is broke" I said, "Relax, Saint Nick, just leave it to me" As I rolled up to Donner and said quietly "Can you see the rabbits? You're safe at home." Then I pulled out my gat, and dropped a nine in his dome "Yo, that's not Donner," Santa screamed into the night "You just k**ed Blitzen. Donner's third from the right." "Whoops, my bad," I said to Saint Nick Then I capped Donner two times quick Santa was sad, but knew it had to be done Then he said, "Yo, Hawk, I can't finish my run There's no way six reindeer can pull me through the sky I'm too fat; I need at least seven reindeer to fly." "No problem, [princess wrecker?], just leave it to me: Soaking wet, I only weigh one-hundred and three I guarantee that the presents will be under the trees As long as they got a wheelchair-accessible chimney." Sing it, ladies [Chorus] Check it, let's go Ho, ho, ho, three hoes did I see I said, "Yo, hoes, come deliver presents with me." They said, "You're not Santa Claus!" "I never said I was But I'm filling in for Saint Nick this Christmastime because The fat man is ill, and since in fact I k**ed His reindeers, I felt that I've a duty to fulfill." They lined into the sleigh, and then without delay We rose into the night, then sped off on our way Our first stop was at MIT No need to check the list, it was plain to me That they've all been naughty, any fool could see So I stole all their presents and pissed on their tree I filled the stockings with coal, and drank all the nog And left on the floor a steaming yule log "Merry Christmas, mother f**ers," I cried into the night As the Christmas hoes and I once more took flight Sing it [Chorus] Yuh Last house of the night for me and the hoes Six billion down and just one to go The child who lived here was listed as naughty For his constant swearing, his mother thought he Could use a firm lesson from the jolly old elf And I had to admit, I thought so myself The kid asked Santa for a baseball mitt Instead I filled his stocking with steaming dog sh** Next morning the child ran downstairs with glee Went straight to his stocking so that he could see What wonderful things Santa had left within it But quickly found out there was nothing but sh** Dog sh** in his stocking, and under the tree Just sh**, sh**, and more sh** was all he could see Yet with each gift he opened, he smiled some more And played with the dog sh** that lay on the floor He seemed to be searching for something in it His mother looked on as he sifted through sh** Confused and concerned, she said to the lad "Saint Nick left you poo, so why aren't you sad?" The boy looked up with a sh**-eating grin And said to his mother with sh** on his chin "Yo, it's a lot of sh**, but b**h I don't mind it Santa left me a dog, I just can't f**in' find it." [Chorus] That's right b**hes, it's an M.C. Hawking holiday So whether you be celebrating Christmas, or Kwanza, or Hanukkah, or whatever I want to wish all you motherf**ers a happy holidays and a wonderful New Year Except for you MIT punk b**hes. You motherf**ers can s** it Peace!