Matthew Tressbraker - One for the Ladies lyrics

Mother just please put in the ear plugs, OK? Because I have to kick my s** styles and I don't want you to hear this. In order to appeal to and titillate the basest desires of my core audience I have to kick my s** styles. I have to pander to the lowest common denominator here mother. That's how people get famous. OK? Just please put in the earplugs, OK? Thank you Action! I said, “ACTION!” Here we go Yo it's Matty-T a.k.a. Matthew Tressbraker, a.k.a. Slade Rhinestone, Ryl, Buck Wilder, the Cupid Stunt. You know I got more nicknames aliases than genitalia does Since ya boy be gettin' some attention on the social media ya know I be receivin' all kinds of private messages. From the ladies. You know they gettin' all curious. How they do. And they're all like: “Hey Matty! Being so proficient at slam poetry you must be stackin mad paper and obviously you have no trouble attracting numerous s**ual partners. You're like a modern day Casanova. But when you gonna kick one for us ladies?” Alright. Alright. Alright. First of all a lot of that goes without saying. Pen game like mine? sh**. I get coin. I'm a artist with quill. I been had hunnids. And Casanova and I do share a mutual preference for prophylactics made from sheep intestines. So there's that And what am I gonna say? If these girls wanna come back to the crib for a little freaky-deek what am I gon' do? I can't say no. That's why I got that that circular bed on rotation. That's why I got that chocolate fondue fountain in the centre all runnin' 24/7. Mirrors on the ceiling. I'm all about it. I'm livin' that life. So I gotta give these girls a taste? Alright I'll give ‘em a taste of: Caviar on pink steel strapped in a pleather harness Snails and oysters, a trail of moisture face down in wet carpet Rug burn all over elbows and knees and I don't give a damn, Scarlet Cushions, pillows and sheets tucked up under each armpit Girls, you'll catch hot pearls in your fishnets when I drop 'em on your starfish Matty's spittin' some game atcha. Lemme get this sh** started Yo, check it. Yo, the concepts of cash-money and $€xxx are so inseparable to 'Tress I spell it dollar sign Euro symbol to the triple-X Hit that bull's eye, hard grind, cross it off my list That's a hat trick, combo, new personal best Let's go three in a row. That's tic-tac-toe to your O-face Another gold performance. An award in my showcase I'll slide into the room: socks, briefs and a bow-tie I lost my shirt on a session of poker when I pushed it all in went for broke or all or nothing I'm her 5 card stud. She's a queen of the clubs used to livin' at the top Playin' no limits hold ‘em gotta give ‘er all I got We shuffle up the order: turn, river to the flop Stackin' up them chips at a hunnid bucks a pop And I'll keep jackin' diamonds ‘til my heart stops or I've pocketed the pot And played that ace of spades, baby! That ace of spades! See it don't phase me when you want to go crazy Leather whips, a mask, code-words for safety Electrified nipple clamps like hey bro don't taze me We'll sip Patron. Dump that blow. We'll blaze weed We can settle in and make the waterbed wavy Raise the heat for days. We only stoppin' to change sheets Get all hot enough to melt metal: a spark to acetylene Tip them Styrofoam cups cuz girl I'm already lean No need for Codeine, ice, Sprite, purple promethazine We can break it bad without that blue methamphetamine Make the whole world jealous of us all envious green Red-faced and breathy, heavin', breathin', heavy with the spit I'm the white version of Danny Brown's “Black Brad Pitt” I'll spray 50 shades of grey and paint a double rainbow on your tits It's like a mix of Jackson Pollock and Prica**o the way I drip, splash and scrawl it Aren't you glad I penned you a sonnet? But when I get up on it to dip this quill in your pink You'll yell OMG OMFG with three rows of exclamation points ‘til you've ruined the sheet So with swiveling hips I'll write the alphabet in cursive on your pelvis Hope I'm not just scratching the surface. Your satisfaction is worth it So when I swerve and reverse it's because that practice makes perfect and Those calligraphic flourishes and embellishments perhaps resulted in nothing intelligible But that memory's indelible And i bet you'll be tellin' all your friends on your cellular. Like hell you will! It says right on my package baby “ribbed for your pleasure” My penchant for perfectionism is evident in my every endeavour Whether it's a timely smack on that a** or a caress as soft as a feather My touch is legally tender. Livin' the life of leisurely pleasure Heard you've been seekin' forever for a hand out. Livin' hand to mouth, girl Yo take this treasure trail to the land down south Now we're talkin bout the opposite of good clean fun. A little freaky-deek Some dirty deeds could get done dirt cheap When we stay in this weekend rip them curtains off the rails let the neighbourhood peek in Arm and a leg in the cushions I gotcha hard up for a fast buck On the sofa but you're lookin' so f**in' ready to blow it all: supernova! Just take it to the tip of the pole or barely a quarter We could make it rain, dear but that's a caribou in North America I won't drop that dime I get daring too and I'm not caring who knows it We make a mess and we clean up that paper ain't just for blew noses You know in Canada even our racing schooners used to do double duty Full chests in my hold and the back's stacked with booty and loot You wanna go loonie-toonie? Spend a little time in close quarters? sh**, it's not like I'd flip if you gave Pretty Penny a jingle. That chick be thrifty Wooden Nickle and I'm willing to mingle so let's share fifty-fifty It never fails. Heads or tails. Whether you prefer to be treated like a queen or an animal You said you just realized why we've got beavers on our nickels When i'm five fingers deep past my second knuckles I reckon the ringin' rhythm your belt buckle's makin's Enough to wake up your husband alert him he's been cuckold I'll wish him well, insert some for good luck and we kiss and tell him he's welcome and withdraw drippin' honey Put that money where your mouth is and I'll pull out on your tummy And I'm out Yo that's Matty-T. You know how I be. I'll bust any style. Ain't sh** to me Alright. Cut! OK mother. It's all finished now. No. No this had nothing to do with the cashier at the pharmacy. No, I don't even think she was winking at me. It was more like she had a nervous tic or something like that. Mother, you know that you're the only girl for me. OK but just one on the cheek, OK?