Matthew Sunlife - Twitter Rant (Depression Song) lyrics

[Verse 1] Sometimes I feel like Hop like I'm mad at the world with no proper way to vent And im pissed Sometimes I sit and I think to myself Why the f** am i living Should i go should i stay f** it I'm tired of all this pain But something starts to change when i load the gun to blow out my brains I imagine my brain being sprayed on the walls But then i picture my mom walking down the halls Hearing the gun go off and trying to figure out why The f** i finally decided to end it all And her crying worse than a kid in the holocaust I imagine that the reason I haven't ended it all And I look around n***as is dead everywhere Typhoons in the Philippines And every where else humans live with disease I'm worth more dead than alive I could donate my motherf**ing eyes no lie Kidneys but no beans Plus i don't even wanna be buried so me dying is pretty cheap Got insurance so my momma will get paid Never got laid so innocent I'll stay School's f**ed up and everybody knows that they dont me I'm a ticking time-bomb waiting to get my blast off I wanna hold the barrel of a gun right to my nose and pull the trigger But I'll get scared block it with my hand and end up living with a few less fingers a scar on my head and so brain-dead I won't make bread Pull the plug, plug the plug I'm tired of breathing it hurts But I'll do it to spite god cause frankly that n***a thinks I'm kinda odd I've been discouraged by rap just by looking at the future And Hop Is Back how f**ed up was that That sh** made me never wanna even pick up the f**ing act Made me wanna just leave my pen and pad But I can't and nobody even knows my f**ing name (not even the teachers) b**hes not even with me but drive me insane Ku Klux Im trying to get some fame But my songs are garbage Like Tyler I want to voice to change Ashamed inane inhumane but I'm not Randy Savage Dez is off getting signed Zajic dropped a tape Is it too late? I'm a f**ing Senior Just trying to be meaner than that f**ed up n***a looking like Stinkmeaner Ugh Sad aprt is nobody even realized i was depressed In their minds i let my grades slip But in reality I need a morphine drip Just to smile