Mathew Baynton - World War 1 Cousins lyrics

[All] We're the cousins, who ruled over dozens King George, Tsar Nick and Kaiser Billy When the century started, we could hardly be parted But that was long before, the frightful First World War [king George] I'm King George and when young I forged an alliance with these two Through Queen Vic we were related, together world power she created [Tsar Nicholas] I'm Tsar Nicholas with George mischievous, swapped uniforms at posh dos We looked like twin set, had matching beards Right royal family, if a little weird [King George] Drove advisors round the bend, [George and Nicholas] so all that friendship had to end. [All] We're relations, crowned by our nations Great Britain, Russia and Germany When our governments fell out, peaceful relations put in doubt Conditions perfect for, the frightful First World War [Kaiser Wilhelm] I'm Kaiser Wilhelm, I kind of felt a bit left out from the rest They had beards, I only had a moustache Feared my withered arm gave me less panache I loved the military, thought at diplomacy, I would be the best [All] We sent telegrams, hoped to stop the bombs They weren't worth the paper they were written on [Kaiser Wilhelm] I called England mad March hares [king George] You didn't help avert war there Now all leaders that all succeed us Great Britain, Russia, both against me [Kaiser Wilhelm] I was in charge of German troops [George and Nicholas] But you proved to be hopeless, oops [Kaiser Wilhelm] The commanders they ignored, in the frightful First World War [king George] My family ties embarra**ing, our kinship now a ha**le I changed my German surname to Windsor like the castle Then Russian Revolution came Nick said "Help me mate!" I couldn't support him, had to leave him to his fate [Tsar Nicholas] Execution! oh [All] And then the war, was no more [King George] We won, [Kaiser Wilhelm] we lost, [Tsar Nicholas] call it a score draw [King George] I was the only one left in charge [kaiser Wilhelm] I ran away but still at large [All] And all this frightful war could do, was set up World War Two [George and Nicholas] Which was us against you [All] Boo boo be doo!