Mark Grist - Mark Grist vs. Blizzard lyrics

[Round 1: Blizzard] Yo, my last battle was a cla**ic, now Don't Flop has thrown me in the f**ing ditch Cause I don't wanna seem s**ist, yet he's only given me another b**h. (Nothing, fine) f** you, Mr Grist! I don't like your lessons no more All you talk about is how my attendance is poor And you've been on my case more so than ever before, so I'll give you a left to the jaw if you ever report whatever you saw, and if I get expelled be a**ured that you're getting some more You see Mixy as your companion, and you think that he's your buddy Cause you've both got masters degrees in dick-related studies And, yeah, you might have good holidays and be swimming in the money But with all that marking you have to do I bet you wish you was a dummy [Turns to camera] But hold up Mixy, I'm taking the mick, see? You could mix E in my drink and still could never lick me I'll make Mick see that the dead poets are history, [turns back to face Mark] I'm like the tenth Olympian and you're a mother f**ing pixie When punchlines hit Mark Grist I know they will mark Grist, your name is a grain so of course I'll tear apart Grist And I don't care about dead poets, dead poetry, after this you'll be a corpse under a dead poet tree I'm always on the ball - I should be back-heeling. I won't stop rapping til my hands peeling and this guy gets sacked for his bad teaching If I get gully, you'll feel a pain in your back region. Smashed gla**, pain in your back region Then you'll know what it's like to be on the wrong side of a gla** ceiling I heard teacher vs. student battle, and I wasn't going to cla** I get to battle that nerdy ba*tard who failed at controlling the cla** You knob-head, I hope you drop dead If I punch you in the face who are you gonna call, Ofsted? [Round 1: Mark Grist] To those at home who are sitting watching YouTube, don't start clicking I know this might look like some kind of extreme babysitting It's actually a rap battle, two grown men lyrically b**hing Just one of us isn't legally old enough to drink inside the building And now, Bradley's gonna try and act less infantile by pretending that he's 'proper rile' So sit back, watch him reconcile with his lack of breastfeeding as a child That's why this ugly duckling s**ling from the teat of any bumpkin With a beat it all means of dumping his meaningless sh** on something And the speed of words you're mumbling hides the fact they don't mean nothing He may have beat the witch from Oz, but it's time for me to teach this Munchkin You will never amount to something, and I'm here to raise a grievance Biggup everyone whose parents have property in Manchester, mate that's not a f**ing achievement This blizzard lizard's got no fire, it's just hot air he's breathing When all's said and done, as the years drag on, you'll look even more like Deborah Meaden This rapper's pint-sized, he's co*k-eyed, when he raps his mouth only actually moves on one side He's like a pre-pubescent Popeye, complete with physique that implies that all the spinach in the world has died And look at him try, this poor little chap, like so many anemic's I've seen in my cla** Dreams of riding up high on a unicorn's back, while defending the world from an orkish attack You wa*k off in sandals to pictures of Gandalf, you stack with the mags in your p**n stash He's got a hard-on for wizards, he only called himself Blizzard Cause that's the company that made World of Warcraft. Time [Round 2: Blizzard] Every bar you've ever spat was a sack of pig sh** They say that words are weapons, then you must be pacifistic I've hated you since the day I first heard you, I was antagonistic And this next round is gonna be f**ing painful like it's masochistic It doesn't take much for me to tell you that you're lame That's why you've gotta die like a board game. [Exactly, it's a creeper man] You're trying to act like you're the boss of Don't Flop, like you're Rowan Acting like you're all-seeing and all-knowing But you're in a canoe with no paddles, b**h, it looks like you're rowing And I'm gonna get rid of Mark like when Germany brought the Euro in. (I'll come back to you in a sec yeah, don't worry man) [Turns to face camera] f** anyone that said my battle with H-Bomb was a stroke of luck I just hated being a laughing stock, now I couldn't give a sugar-coated f** I'm feeling drunk off disrespect now, and I've got no plans to sober up The same guys that sent me d**h threats, now in a home and nuts The battlers that name-dropped me, I'm scaring 'em with ease I'm an embarra**ing pain to them like a venereal disease [Turns back to face Mark] So bring up all your fiction man, I dare you do it please Cause you only talk gas, Mark, on various degrees So wave to the camera, you haven't got any hope You might as well look up to the sky and ask God for the rope It's like I'm looking at JFK's head from an optical scope You're the dead president and I won't stop til you slope This battle journey's been insane. Peace, Eurgh, it's still taking me on a trek Yet this guy's music couldn't even feed him a cheque So escape the premises b**h you better leave in a sec Before I turn your little cla**room into Peterborough Tech.Time [Round 2: Mark Grist] Bradley's last battle showcased his innate ability to hurl abuse at women And it was so impressive that I thought that I might mimic him A funny thing online you whinge that your Mum's through your last battle accidentally Well I hate to chat crap behind anyone's back, so why not address her directly: [Turns to face camera] Mrs. Green, Mrs. Green, please move into the screen, I've got some people behind me I'm sure that you've seen [Addresses crowd] Gentlemen, say hello to Mrs. Green [Turns back to camera] You might not believe me but you've actually met most of them I mean there wasn't much light, you were at a lower height kinda slobbering like a doberman Those nights out gathering STD's while Bradley stayed in collecting Pokemon And you beat him by a landslide, cause he only collected most of them Mrs. Green, Mrs. Green, that froth from between your ma's jaws dribbles more than an entire football team When you sit down it sounds like a sea lion applauding Not many women insert a life-jacket before a young man comes a-boarding Every morning, noon and night, those juices they are pouring Til your thighs, when spread wide, resemble laminate flooring Mrs. Green, Mrs. Green, your son's thoughts are obscene The truth is you live in his every wet dream A seventeen-year-old Oedipus, he fantasizes about each of us Climaxing more heavily upon you than an Eastenders omnibus That's why I'm here to stop this depravity Point out how wrong it is, the seriousness, the gravity Explain that more rubber gets burned in your vaginal cavity Than the combined elaquity of every Formula 1 engine battery I'm so sorry about about you, Mrs. Green, and I'm so sorry about Bradley I'm doing my best to help him but he just keeps on trying to attack me I'd be pretty pissed off, but he's doing it really f**ing badly. Time [Round 3: Blizzard] I didn't come here for my a**essments, Mr. Grist, I came for my rapping endeavours So don't you dare think of correcting my grammatical errors And we know now you're a teacher, so that needs no further explanation But I'm smarter than you think, let me recap on my education In Nursery I was a terror, I made everyone's experience hell The only noise I enjoyed hearing - the bell Temper tantrums every day, I used to walk out of the room Thirteen years later I'm here making mountains of moves I'm seventeen, education has took up 75% of my life And I hated every second of it, what you expect me to lie? I dropped out of college cause I hated that negative vibe And it was teachers like you that made me feel aggressive inside You're not superior, we're the reason you get the pay that you do And if your pa** rate is too low, the government are gonna take it from you This is like Lunar C's SBTV and you can't say it ain't true This is Blizzard vs. sh** teacher, but I get to say it to you My scriptures make Samuel Peeps look like any old man in the street Make Martin Luther want to write another draft of his speech Make the likes of Oscar Wilde and Confucius sit back and retreat Basically I'm in a cla** even this man couldn't teach I'm pissed off at the haters, other rappers come off kinda sour I hate the school system and I'll never plead to a higher power You're just a tiny flower that I'll devour with a violent shower So f** you, your campus, your lesson plan and your £8.95 an hour. s** your mum, dick head [Round 3: Mark Grist] I suggest that you f** off, and play some Beyblade before I slap you with an F grade Or at least go jack off to some vampires like the rest of your age range He's trying to act tougher than me, but I suspect he might be nerdier You're about as intimidating as your Sooty, and you're only slightly wordier I don't care about the aggressive sh** you spit online or that everybody's heard of ya You'd still give yourself a hernia trying to a**emble flat-pack furniture 'But I keep dissing him for being a teacher, what have I gotta say so I can shock ya?' The honest truth is Bradley I've been served better whilst in Costa I consider it a crime how much time you spend rhyming about the rest of the Don't Flop opera It's a solo gun fight, not some h*mo-erotic spaghetti opera And in Bradley's last battle he wasn't dreadful, which means when he doubt he even wrote it See this young green plants himself with better rappers, hopes to get it through osmosis The best of ventriloquist dummies, his a** can take on both fists Then he rides them in so deep as he appears to be riding on their shoulders I don't have to write like Socrates to expose your mediocrity And considering the pics of the last battle I've seen I'm surprised you're not trying to get off with me Honestly, Bradley, besides getting date-raped by Australian women and saying words a little bit quickly, I'm not quite sure what you actually do Plus it's a sad fact that half your iPhone apps are actually older than you I'm not gonna deny that after his last battle his reputation grew But, if I'm being honest, I'm gonna have to write, 'has to improve upon this term's review' [Judges Decision] Blizzard 0-5 Mark Grist