KID Batman! Why is he running, Dad? GORDON Because we have to chase him KID Why? GORDON Because he can take it. Because hes not a hero, hes a silent guardian, a watchful protector, the Dark Knight KID I dont get it GORDON Neither do I son, but it sounds cool BATMAN As I ride on my bike at the end of Dark Knight Theres a few plot points that just dont feel right Like why the hell did I agree to take the rap Harvey Dent k**ed those people. Who gives a crap? And the Joker pulls crimes in such an orderly manner He must write it down in an evil day planner His henchmen are psycho and expendable Yet somehow completely dependable And why is Morgan Freeman all pissed at me? He seemed to resign kind of randomly Its OK to build me an armored tank-car But ooh, tapping phones, thats going too far This movie of my life just doesnt hold together At least is beats the crap out of Batman Forever I enjoy car chases, explosions and suspense Is it too much to ask that it all make sense? ALFRED No no Master Wayne, you dont understand You can't k** a symbol, but you can k** a man BATMAN If I want to quit then thats my choice ALFRED Were alone you dont have to use that voice And what about Ms. Dawes its like you just forgot her BATMAN In Batman Begins she was so much hotter ALFRED Joker, are you busy? Lets call a truce I need you to help explain the plot toBatman JOKER Call me insane, but I consider us friends I brought the DVD so we can watch it again ALFRED Ill make the popcorn and pour the sherry Ooh, maybe we could watch it with the commentary BATMAN How does Harvey Dent do total 180? ALFRED Well they barbequed his face and he lost his lady BATMAN When did you have time rig up both of those boats JOKER Does talking that way ever damage your throat? BATMAN Well at least they got rid of Joel Schumacher JOKER You know movie is really good the Hurt Locker BATMAN Oh I heard that was good. Ive been meaning to see it ALFRED Whos in it? JOKER Anthony Mackie ALFRED I dont know who that is JOKER He was in Eight Mile ALFRED Oh, he the guy who hosted the rap battles BATMAN No that was Mekhi Phifer ALFRED Joker youre getting white makeup all over the popcorn JOKER Sorry, Hey did I ever tell you how I got these scars? BATMAN YES! Several versions ALFRED Maybe some other people would like to hear the story