Marcel Allain & Pierre Souvestre - "No! I Am Not Mad!" lyrics

The next day but one after the crime, on the Friday, Louise the cook, who was still terribly upset by the dreadful d**h of the good mistress in whose service she had been for fifteen years, came down to her kitchen early. It was scarcely daybreak, and the good woman was obliged to light a lamp to see by. With her mind anywhere but on her work, she was mechanically getting breakfast for the servants and for the visitors to the château, when a sharp knock on the back door made her jump. She went to open it, and uttered a little scream as she saw the co*ked hats of gendarmes silhouetted against the wan light of the early morning. Between the gendarmes were two miserable-looking speci- mens of humanity. Louise had only opened the door a few inches when the sergeant, who had known her for many years, took a step forward and gave her a military salute. "I must ask your hospitality for us and for these two fellows whom we have taken up to-night, prowling about the neigh- bourhood," he said. The dismayed Louise broke in. "Good heavens, sergeant, are you bringing thieves here? Where do you expect me to put them? Surely there's enough trouble in the house as it is!" The gendarme, Morand, smiled with the disillusioned air of a man who knows very well what trouble is, and the sergeant replied: "Put them? Why, in your kitchen, of course," and as the servant made a sign of refusal, he added: "I am sorry, but you must; besides, there's nothing for you to be afraid of; the men are handcuffed, and we shall not leave them. We are going to wait here for the magistrate who will examine them." The gendarmes had pushed their wretched captives in before them, two tramps of the shadiest appearance. Louise, who had gone mechanically to raise the lid of a kettle beginning to boil over, looked round at his last words. "The magistrate?" she said: "M. de Presles? Why, he is here now—in the library." "No?" exclaimed the sergeant, jumping up from the kitchen chair on which he had seated himself. "He is, I tell you," the old woman insisted; "and the little man who generally goes about with him is here too." "You mean M. Gigou, his clerk?" "Very likely," muttered Louise. "I leave the prisoners with you, Morand," said the sergeant curtly; "don't let them out of your sight. I am going to the ma- gistrate. I have no doubt he will wish to interrogate these fel- lows at once." The gendarme came to attention and saluted. "Trust me, sergeant!" It looked as if Morand's job was going to be an easy one; the two tramps, huddled up in a corner of the kitchen opposite the stove, showed no disposition to make their escape. The two were utterly different in appearance. One was a tall, strongly built man, with thick hair crowned by a little jockey cap, and was enveloped in a kind of overcoat which might have been black once but which was now of a greenish hue, the result of the inclemency of the weather; he gnawed his heavy moustache in silence and turned sombre, uneasy looks on all, including his companion in misfortune. He wore hobnailed shoes and carried a stout cudgel. He was more like a piece of the human wreckage one sees in the street corners of great cities than a genuine tramp. Instead of a collar, there was a variegated handkerchief round his neck. His name, he had told the sergeant, was François Paul. The other man, who had been discovered at the back of a farm just as he was about to crawl inside a stack, was a typic- al country tramp. An old soft felt hat was crammed down on his head, and a shock of rebellious red and grey hair curled up all round it, while a hairy beard entirely concealed all the features of his face. All that could be seen of it was a pair of sparkling eyes incessantly moving in every possible direction. This second man contemplated with interest the place into which the police had conducted him. On his back he bore a heavy sort of wallet in which he stowed articles of the most varied description. Whereas his companion maintained a rigid silence, this man never stopped talking. Nudging his neighbor every now and then he whispered: "Say, where do you come from? You're not from these parts, are you? I've never seen you before have I? Everybody round here knows me: Bouzille—my name's Bouzille," and turning to the gendarme he said: "Isn't it true, M'sieu Morand, that you and I are old acquaintances? This is the fourth or fifth time you've pinched me, isn't it?" Bouzille's companion vouchsafed him a glance. "So it's a habit of yours, is it?" he said in the same low tone; "you often get nabbed?" "As to 'often,'" the garrulous fellow replied, "that depends on what you mean by the word. In winter time it's not bad business to go back to clink, because of the rotten weather; in the summer one would rather go easy, and then, too, in the sum- mer there isn't so much crime; you can find all you want on the road; country people aren't so particular in the summer, while in the winter it's quite another thing; so they have done me down to-night for mother Chiquard's rabbit, I expect." The gendarme, who had been listening with no great atten- tion, chimed in. "So it was you who stole the rabbit, was it, Bouzille?" "What's the good of your asking me that, M'sieu Morand?" protested Bouzille. "I suppose you would have left me alone if you hadn't been sure of it?" Bouzille's companion bent his head and whispered very low: "There has been something worse than that: the job with the lady of this house." "Oh, that!" said Bouzille with a gesture of complete indiffer- ence. But he did not proceed. The sergeant came back to the kitchen and said sternly: "François Paul, forward: the examining magistrate will hear you now." The man summoned stepped towards the sergeant, and quietly submitted to being taken by the arm, for his hands were fastened. Bouzille winked knowingly at the gendarme, now his sole remaining confidant, and remarked with satisfaction: "Good luck! We are getting on to-day! Not too much 're- manded' about it," and as the gendarme, severely keeping his proper distance, made no reply, the incorrigible chatterbox went on merrily: "As a matter of fact it suits me just as well to be committed for trial, since the government give you your board and lodging, and especially since there's a really beauti- ful prison at Brives now." He leaned familiarly against the gendarme's shoulder. "Ah, M'sieu Morand, you didn't know it—you weren't old enough—why, it was before you joined the force—but the lock-up used to be in an old building just behind the Law Courts: dirty! I should think it was dirty! And damp! Why once, when I did three months there, from January to April, I came out so ill with the rheumatics that I had to go back into the infirmary for another fortnight! Gad!" he went on after a moment's pause during which he snuffed the air around him, "something smells jolly good here!" He unceremoniously addressed the cook who was busy at her work: "Mightn't there perhaps be a bit of a blow out for me, Mme. Louise?" and as she turned round with a somewhat scandalised expression he continued: "you needn't be frightened, lady, you know me very well. Many a time I've come and asked you for any old thing, and you've always given me something. M'sieu Dollon, too: whenever he has an old pair of shoes that are worn out, well, those are mine; and a crust of bread is what nobody ever refuses." The cook hesitated, touched by the recollections evoked by the poor tramp; she looked at the gendarme for a sign of en- couragement. Morand shrugged his shoulders and turned a patronising gaze on Bouzille. "Give him something, if you like, Mme. Louise. After all, he is well known. And for my own part I don't believe he could have done it." The tramp interrupted him. "Ah, M'sieu Morand, if it's a matter of picking up trifles here and there, a wandering rabbit, perhaps, or a fowl that's tired of being lonely, I don't say no; but as for anything else—thank'ee kindly, lady." 40 Louise had handed Bouzille a huge chunk of bread which he immediately interned in the depths of his enormous bag. "What do you suppose that other chap can have to tell Mr. Paul Pry? He did not look like a regular! Now when I get be- fore the gentlemen in black, I don't want to contradict them, and so I always say, 'Yes, my lord,' and they are perfectly satis- fied; sometimes they laugh and the president of the court says, 'Stand up, Bouzille,' and then he gives me a fortnight, or twenty-one days, or a month, as the case may be." The sergeant came back, alone, and addressed the gendarme. "The other man has been discharged," he said. "As for Bouz- ille, M. de Presles does not think there is any need to interrog- ate him." "Am I to be punted out then?" enquired the tramp with some dismay, as he looked uneasily towards the window, against the gla** of which rain was lashing. The sergeant could not restrain a smile. "Well, no, Bouzille," he said kindly, "we must take you to the lock-up; there's the little matter of the rabbit to be cleared up, you know. Come now, quick march! Take him to Saint-Jaury, Morand!" The sergeant went back to the library to hold himself at the magistrate's disposal; through the torrential downpour of rain Bouzille and the gendarme wended their way to the village; and left alone in her kitchen, Louise put out her lamp, for des- pite the shocking weather it was getting lighter now, and com- muned with herself. "I've a kind of idea that they would have done better to keep that other man. He was a villainous-looking fellow!" The sad, depressing day had pa**ed without any notable incident. Charles Rambert and his father had spent the afternoon with Thérèse and the Baronne de Vibray continuously addressing large black-edged envelopes to the relations and friends of the Marquise de Langrune, whose funeral had been fixed for the next day but one. A hasty dinner had been served at which the Baronne de Vibray was present. Her grief was distressing to witness. 41 Somewhat futile to outward seeming, this woman had a very kind and tender heart; as a matter of course she had consti- tuted herself the protector and comforter of Thérèse, and she had spent the whole of the previous day with the child at Brives, ransacking the local shops to procure her mourning. Thérèse was terribly shocked by the dreadful d**h of her grandmother whom she adored, but she displayed unexpected strength of character and controlled her grief so that she might be able to look after the guests whom she was now entertain- ing for the first time as mistress of the house. The Baronne de Vibray had failed in her attempt to persuade Thérèse to come with her to Querelles to sleep. Thérèse was determined in her refusal to leave the château and what she termed her "post of duty." "Marie will stay with me," she a**ured the kind Baronne, "and I promise you I shall have sufficient courage to go to sleep to-night." So her friend got into her car alone at nine o'clock and went back to her own house, and Thérèse went up at once to bed with Marie, the faithful servant who, like Louise the cook, had been with her ever since she was born. After having read all the newspapers, with their minute and often inaccurate account of the tragedy at Beaulieu—for every- one in the château had been besieged the previous day by re- porters and representatives of various press agencies—M. Etienne Rambert said to his son simply, but with a marked gravity: "Let us go upstairs, my son: it is time." At the door of his room Charles deferentially offered his cheek to his father, but M. Etienne Rambert seemed to hesit- ate; then, as if taking a sudden resolution, he entered his son's room instead of going on to his own. Charles kept silence and refrained from asking any questions, for he had noticed how lost in sad thought his father had seemed to be since the day before. Charles Rambert was very tired. He began to undress at once. He had taken off his coat and waistcoat, and was turning towards a looking-gla** to undo his tie, when his father came up to him; with an abrupt movement M. Etienne Rambert put 42 both his hands on his son's shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. Then in a stifled but peremptory tone he said: "Now confess, unhappy boy! Confess to your father!" Charles went ghastly white. "What?" he muttered. Etienne Rambert kept his eyes fixed upon him. "It was you who committed the murder!" The ringing denial that the young man tried to utter was strangled in his throat; he threw out his arms and groped with his hands as if to find something to support him in his faint- ness; then he pulled himself together. "Committed the murder? I? You accuse me of having k**ed the Marquise? It is infamous, hateful, awful!" "Alas, yes!" "No, no! Good God, no!" "Yes!" Etienne Rambert insisted. The two men faced each other, panting. Charles controlled the emotion which was sweeping over him once more, and looking steadily at his father, said in tones of bitter reproach: "And it is actually my own father who says that—who sus- pects me!" Tears filled the young fellow's eyes and sobs choked him; he grew whiter still, and seemed so near collapse that his father had to support him to a chair, where he remained for several minutes utterly prostrated. M. Rambert paced up and down the room a few times, then took another chair and sat down in front of his son. Pa**ing a hand across his brow as if to sweep away the hor- rible nightmare that was haunting him, he spoke again. "Come now, my boy, my poor boy, let us talk it over quietly. I do not know how it was, but yesterday morning when I saw you at the station I had a presentiment of something: you were haggard, and tired, and your eyes were drawn——" "I told you before," Charles answered tonelessly "that I had had a bad night: I was over-excited and did not sleep: I was awake the whole night." "By Jove, yes!" his father rapped out: "I can believe that! But if you were not asleep, how do you account for your not hear- ing anything?" 43 "Thérèse did not hear anything either," said Charles after a moment's reflection. "Thérèse's room was a long way off," M. Rambert replied, "while there was only a thin wall between yours and that of the Marquise. You must have heard: you did hear! More than that——, oh, my boy, my unhappy boy!" Charles was twisting and untwisting his hands, and great drops of cold perspiration beaded his brow. "You are the only single person who thinks I committed such an awful crime!" he said, half questioningly. "The only one?" Etienne Rambert muttered. "Perhaps! As yet! But you ought to know that you made a very bad impres- sion indeed upon the friends of the Marquise during the even- ing before the crime, when President Bonnet was reading the particulars of a murder that had been committed in Paris by—somebody: I forget whom." "Good heavens!" Charles exclaimed in indignation, "I did not say anything wrong. Do you mean to say that just because I am interested in stories of great criminals like Rocambole and Fantômas——" "You created a deplorable impression," his father repeated. "So they suspect me too, do they?" Charles enquired. "But you can't make accusations like that," he said, warming up: "you've got to have facts, and proofs." He looked at his father forthe sympathy and encouragement of affection. "Listen, papa, I know you will believe me when I swear that I am inno- cent; but do you think other people——" M. Etienne Rambert sat with his head between his hands, wrapped in thought; there was a short silence before the un- happy father replied: "Unfortunately there is evidence against you," he said at last; "and damning evidence, too!" he added with a glance at his son that seemed to pulverise him. "Terrible evidence! Consider, Charles: the magistrates have decided, as a result of their in- vestigations, that no one got into the château on the fatal night; you were the only man who slept there; and none but a man could possibly have committed such a horrible crime, such a monstrous piece of butchery!" 44 "Someone might have got in from outside," the unhappy lad urged, as if trying to escape from the network in which he was being entangled. "No one did," Etienne Rambert insisted; "besides, how could you prove it?" Charles was silent. He stood in the middle of the room, with trembling legs and haggard eyes, seemingly stupefied and in- capable of coherent thought, vacantly watching his father. With bent head and shoulders bowed as though beneath a too- heavy load, Etienne Rambert moved towards the dressing-room attached to the bedroom. "Come here," he said in an almost inaudible voice; "follow me." He went into the dressing-room, and picking up the towels that were heaped anyhow on the lower rail of the washstand, he selected a very crumpled one and held it out in front of his son. "Look at that!" he said in a low, curt tone. And on the towel, thus held in the light, Charles Rambert saw red stains of blood. The lad started, and was about to burst into some protestation, but Etienne Rambert imperiously checked him. "Do you still deny it? Unhappy, wretched boy, there is the convincing, irrefutable evidence of your guilt! These stains of blood proclaim it. Something always is overlooked! How are you to explain the presence of this blood-stained linen in your room? Can you still deny that it is proof positive of your guilt?" "But I do deny it, I do deny it! I don't understand! I know nothing about it!" and once more Charles Rambert collapsed into the arm-chair; the unhappy lad was nothing but a human wreck, with no strength to argue or even utter a word. His father's eyes rested on him, filled with infinite affection and profoundest pity. "My poor, poor boy!" the unhappy Etienne Rambert mur- mured, and added, as if speaking only to himself: "I wonder if you are not entirely responsible—if there are circumstances to plead for you!" "Do you still accuse me, papa? Do you really believe I am the murderer?" Etienne Rambert shook his head hopelessly. 45 "Oh, I wish, I wish," he exclaimed, "that for the honour of our name, and for the sake of those who love us, I could prove you had congenital, hereditary tendencies that made you not re- sponsible! Why could not I have watched over your upbring- ing? Why has fate decreed that I should only see my son three times at most in eighteen years, and come home to find him—a criminal? Oh, if science could but establish the fact that the child of a tainted mother——" "Tainted?" Charles exclaimed; "what do you mean?" "Tainted with a terrible and mysterious disease," Etienne Rambert went on: "a disease before which we are powerless and unarmed—insanity!" "What?" cried Charles, growing momentarily more distressed and bewildered; "what is that, papa? Are my wits going? My mother insane?" And then he added hopelessly: "My God! You must be right! Often and often I have been amazed by her strange, puzzling looks and behaviour! But I—I have all my proper senses: I know what I am doing!" "Was it, perhaps, some appalling hallucination," Etienne Rambert suggested: "some moment of irresponsibility?" But Charles saw what he meant and cut him short. "No, no, papa! I am not mad! I am not mad! I am not mad!" In his intense excitement the young fellow never thought of moderating the tone of his voice, but shouted out what was in his mind, shouted it into the silence of the night, heedless of all but this terrible discussion he was having with the father whom he loved. Nor did Etienne Rambert lower his voice: his son's impa**ioned protest wrung the retort from him: "Then, Charles, if you are right, your crime is beyond forgive- ness! Murderer! Murderer!" The two men stopped short as a slight sound in the pa**age caught their attention. A silence fell upon them that they could not break, and they stood dumbfounded, nervous and overwrought. The door of the room opened very slowly, and a white form appeared against the darkness of the corridor outside. Robed in a long night-dress, Thérèse stood there, with hair dishevelled, bloodless lips, and eyes dilated with horror; the child was shaking from head to foot; as if every movement hurt her, she painfully raised her arm and pointed to Charles. 46 "Thérèse!" Etienne Rambert muttered: "Thérèse, you were outside?" The child's lips moved: she seemed to be making a more than human effort, and a whisper escaped her lips: "Yes——" But she could say no more: her eyes rolled, her whole frame tottered, and then, without sign or cry, she fell rigid and un- conscious to the floor.