Malcolm Gets - Prologue: Calamari lyrics

[GORDON] Sorry I'm late, Rhoda [RHODA, spoken] You're always late [GORDON] I was Working on the Spring Song Is he angry that he doesn't have the Spring Song yet? I bet [RHODA, spoken] No, he's angry that he doesn't have the Yes Song [GORDON] I hate the Yes Song I hate the Spring Song I hate Mr. Bungee and this job God, it's bad Working on Mr. Bungee's lily pad– [WAITRESS, spoken] Y'all work for Mr. Bungee? I love that TV show! (sung) The specials today Though not many are especially good First the fish of the day: Calamari! Which isn't a fish But lives in the sea As said in the dish It happens to be the fish Of the day Okay Plus there's ziti With a sauce that's meaty It's fun! [GORDON & RHODA, spoken] Fun? [WAITRESS] And there's a lot And that's the specials! (spoken) Thank you! [GORDON, spoken] I'll have the ziti and a Diet Coke [RHODA, spoken] Uh, okay, and I will have the goat cheese salad–no cheese [GORDON, spoken] Oh, thank you [RHODA, spoken] So, talk to me! [GORDON] He's taking up the brunt of my time I don't have time to write My real stuff But I feel stuff I can't express What I mean to convey So of course I didn't Write enough today! I hate Mr. Bungee Why does Mr. Bungee hate me? Oh, God! As you can tell I don't write well for frogs! [RHODA, spoken] It's called a job You're a mess! If you don't keep writing you'll be shown the door You know Mr. Bungee hates you I think he hates you more First off: You've gotta finish a song! You scoff But dammit write the Spring Song Write the Yes Song Don't let your career Go to the dogs! (MR. BUNGEE enters.) [MR. BUNGEE] Mr. Bungee is aquatic And despotic! Mr. Bungee's oceanic And satanic! Nyahaha! Mr. Bungee's said to be Tyrannical at times But Mr. Bungee always rhymes! Whee! (spoken) Oh, sure! Ha! Him, a Broadway show? I don't think so! [GORDON, spoken] I'm having frog hallucinations He's not here right now, is he? [WAITRESS] I love Mr. Bungee Yes indeed-y Here's your ziti I love Mr. Bungee When he makes his scenes I love Mr. Bun– Did someone order scallopini? I love Mr. Bungee Here's your Diet Coke And here's your greens! I love Mr. Bungee I love Mr. Bungee! [RHODA] First write your song then next You'll write the epic First kids, TV, then next The Broadway shows It's a rocky road from lily pad To where you want to get to, dear, but Rhoda always knows... [GORDON] Inside me I feel washed up and through Writing this sh**'s k**ed my talent And whatever's left to k** Then Bungee will grind that down to squat! I used to be! I was! I once was but I'm Not! (spoken) Oh my... Not a... (sung) Something is wrong Something is wrong (spoken) Something is very, very, very– Wrong [RHODA, spoken] Oh, come on, Gordon That is not true! (sung) You're still! I don't agree! (spoken) Hey! Hey, come on, sit down Gordon, are you OK? Gordon, you're scaring me... (GORDON collapses, his head hitting his plate.)