Driving to the gig tonight I hoped and prayed with all my might That dreams of Woodstock Would come true A crowd that stretched beyond my view But I dream too much And practise far too rarely And walking in I feel as though The cards were dealt unfairly 'Cos two and a dog, two and a dog Two and a dog is all I see How could they do this to me All those friends who faithfully Promised me that they would be Here to hear me play But two and a dog, two and a dog Two and a dog is all I've got I must admit it's not a lot Superstar is what I'm not My property just isn't hot This dog has had his day Now playing at the gig tonight I shut my eyes to hide the sight The empty chairs look on in pain They try to cheer, but all in vain And in between the songs I can hear the barman breathing While the only other sound I hear Is the sound of people leaving My voice was sore And the crowd was poor And the posters had the venue wrong Excuses fly as I wonder why Thousands didn't come along Now driving from the gig tonight I grip the steering wheel tight The psychedelic voices say That I should give the game away But I'll be back again Climbing 'til I reach my peak And for seven days I'll hope and pray And three and a cow Might come next week Yeah, two and a dog, two and a dog Two and a dog can be so cruel But I won't give up like a fool I'll give my all and keep my cool 'Cos I'm as stubborn as a mule I'll take the stage again 'Cos two and a dog, two and a dog Two and a dog, my faithful few And I'll be here to play for you Until my record deal comes through By then I might be eighty-two But two and a dog will do 'til then