[Intro: Major Scales] Yes, it's another Christmas with the folks Another chance for us to get together and argue Just like Santa wants [Verse 1: Jinkx Monsoon] The house is dressed in j**els of green and red, oh Sugar plums in each collective head, oh And in the grand ol' fashioned way With the family for the day And all the wine-soaked gossip that is bein' said [Verse 2: Jinkx Monsoon] The cousins and the uncles takin' turns, oh With family dramas, medical concerns, oh I only know we fight it best If we could give that top a rest And then this holiday the peace is truly earned [Chorus: Jinkx Monsoon] Let's have a pa**ive aggressive Christmas Let's not pretend we're all that close Dad can talk about the new car And TV shows he loves the most It's only 7 hours, so let the work shift now begin We did it all last year and we'll do it all again [Verse 3: Jinkx Monsoon] Everybody glows a Christmas light, o-oh Everybody's tryin' not to fight, o-oh And now it's Macy's own parade Another reason to behave Another chance to say we're doing St. Nick right [Chorus: Jinkx Monsoon] Let's have a pa**ive aggressive Christmas And cut the sentimental end No, Mom, I don't have a boyfriend No, Grandma, I don't have a girlfriend Let's think about the presents and of the cracking New Year in We did it all last year and we'll do it all again [Bridge: Jinkx Monsoon] Oh, Grandma, Franklin, Uncle Paul You love them all, yeah, you love them all And you can keep that smile on through the night Oh, but, I swear to God that it isn't fair If the Andersons ask about my hair For the hundredth time that day, oh, hey [Interlude: Major Scales and Jinkx Monsoon] Now, sweetheart, do you want to be the one to say the blessing today? And I'll say... [Chorus: Jinkx Monsoon] Let's have a pa**ive aggressive Christmas Cause we're all in it 'till we're free The folks all say they love the turkey But, no one cares about the turkey We'd rather wash the dishes Cause of the trouble that we're in We did it all last year and we'll do it all again [Outro: Jinkx Monsoon] Oh, we did it all last year and we'll do it all again Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, fa-la-la-la-la Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la-la Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, fa-la-la-la-la Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh no