He'll eat your pies, he'll tell you lies, You wouldn't believe that fat ba*tard's size His ma**ive gut is forty foot, it goes dark when he walks in the pub His bu*tocks part, you'll smell his farts, He's so fat, he can't wipe his own arse. So now you've heard about the ugly turd, He's a virgin and he's never had a bird Does anyone know he's gay? He goes round spreading AIDs. (We haven't got a clue where the fat f**er is) Has anyone seen him eat? He's never seen his feet. The fat ba*tard. Five hundred pounds, he's very round, But he gets taller when he lies on the ground He busts his flies, but he can't hide, Coz he's too big, too fat and too f**ing wide Can anyone guess his weight? That was his fourteenth plate (We haven't got a clue where the fat f**er is) His backside blubbers about, cleavage peeping out The fat ba*tard