THE ACCOUNTANTS: Unhappy...unhappy..very unhappy Unhappy...unhappy... Very very very very very Very very unhappy BLACK ACCOUNTANT: Oh, I debits all duh mornin' An' I credits all duh eb'nin Until dem ledgers be right LEO & THE ACCOUNTANTS: Until dem ledgers be right LEO: I spend my life accounting With figures and such THE ACCOUNTANTS: Unhappy LEO: To what is my life amounting It figures, not much THE ACCOUNTANTS: Unhappy LEO: I have a secret desire Hiding deep in my soul It sets my heart afire To see me in this role I wanna be a producer With a hit show on Broadway I wanna be a producer Lunch at Sardi's every day I wanna be a producer Sport a top hat and a cane I wanna be a producer And drive those chorus girls insane! I wanna be a producer And sleep until half-past two I wanna be a producer And say, "You, you, you, not you" I wanna be a producer Wear a tux on op'ning nights! I wanna be a producer And see my name "Leo Bloom" in lights! CHORUS GIRLS: He wants to be a producer LEO: Sell it, girls! CHORUS GIRLS: Of a great big Broadway smash LEO: Don't forget the balcony! CHORUS GIRLS: He wants to be a producer Ev'ry pocket stuffed with cash He wants to be a producer Pinch our cheeks 'til we cry CHORUS GIRL #1: Ouch! CHORUS GIRL #2: Eek! CHORUS GIRL #3: Ooh! CHORUS GIRL #4: Oh! CHORUS GIRL #5: Ahh! CHORUS GIRL #6: Yes! CHORUS GIRLS: He wants to be a producer With a great big casting couch! LEO: I wanna be... CHORUS GIRLS: He wants to be... LEO: I wanna be... CHORUS GIRLS: He wants to be... LEO: I wanna be the greatest, grandest And most fabulous producer in the world CHORUS GIRLS: He wants to be a producer He wants to dine with a duchess and a duke LEO: I just gotta be a producer Drink champagne until I puke CHORUS GIRLS: Drink champagne 'til he pukes! LEO: I wanna be a producer Show the world just what I've got I'm gonna put on shows That will enthrall 'em CHORUS GIRLS & LEO: Read my name in Winchell's column! LEO: I wanna be a producer 'Cause it's everything I'm not THE ACCOUNTANTS: Unhappy...unhappy... So unhappy LEO & THE ACCOUNTANTS: Very very very very very Very very... THE ACCOUNTANTS: ...sad LEO: I wanna be a producer Hold everything! What I am I doing here? Mr. Bialystock was right! There is a lot more to me than there is to me! Stop the world, I wanna get on! MARKS: Bloom, where do you think you're going? LEO: Mr. Marks, I've got news for you. I quit! Here's my visor...my Dixon Ticonderoga number two pencil... and my big finish! I'm gonna be a producer Sound the horn and beat the drum I'm gonna be a producer Look out Broadway, cause here I come!! CHORUS GIRLS & ACCOUNTANTS: Broadway, here he comes!