Lynn Ahrens - Nothing Like the City lyrics

TATEH (spoken): Mister, please, where is this? CONDUCTOR (spoken): You're in New Rochelle. You can take the rope off her. This ain't the city LITTLE BOY (spoken): Mother! MOTHER (spoken): I see! I see! He's afraid of losing her. Immigrants are terrified of losing their children. So are we but just not so conspicuously. Don't stare. It's not polite to stare TATEH (spoken): He's a rude little boy. Ignore him. People of good breeding do not stare at other people. They acknowledge them politely with a bow - like this TATEH: Good day MOTHER: Good day, sir TATEH: She called me "sir" Without a doubt We're really out Of New York City MOTHER: Fine weather, isn't it TATEH: Isn't it Now that we're out of the city Isn't it BOTH: Nothing like the city LITTLE GIRL (spoken): He's still staring! TATEH (spoken): Never mind LITTLE BOY: My father's at the North Pole With Admiral Peary and Eskimos Where is your mother? LITTLE GIRL: Dead MOTHER (spoken): Edgar! LITTLE BOY: My name is Edgar We're off to visit our fireworks factory What is your name? LITTLE GIRL: No name LITTLE BOY: That's impossible Everyone has a name Even the little Negro baby Who lives in our attic MOTHER: Shh - do not be rude He talks LITTLE BOY: I never knew anyone Who stayed on a rope Like a puppy dog What does it feel like? TATEH: I see that LITTLE GIRL: Safe MOTHER: He also stares LITTLE BOY: Safe? MOTHER: You'd think he'd never Seen someone From New York City LITTLE GIRL: Yes LITTLE BOY: Everyone's safe In New Rochelle TATEH: That's children Isn't it LITTLE GIRL: Safe? MOTHER: Isn't it LITTLE BOY: Yes BOTH: Always another surprise Isn't it CONDUCTOR (spoken): Boston Post Road trolley! Boston! MOTHER (spoken): Well TATEH (spoken): Well TATEH: Have a pleasant day, ma'am MOTHER: Have a pleasant trip, sir BOTH: Nothing like the city CONDUCTOR (spoken): Mamaroneck! All aboard for Mamaroneck! LITTLE BOY (spoken): We know those people MOTHER (spoken): That's ridiculous. They're poor foreigners LITTLE BOY (spoken): Then we're going to know them MOTHER (spoken): Who put such thoughts in your head?