Lucid - "Spinning" lyrics

Had quiet nights lay'd up in my bed City lights flashing cameras through my head So many memories rushing So many words crushing Mind was about to explode Until i was able to lay it out in what i wrote So many restless hours that i spent Now its all bursting through my pen Nothing felt fake cause it was all real This was me the real deal hadda explain how i feel In cla** never taking notes only jottin lyrics My appereance was a short white boy Cla** clown life filled of joy Cause i never let my insides come out Coming into school off no rest lookin strung out Hes that quiet ghetto lookin skater kid If they only knew the trouble that i lived Now its my time to become something These are my words my thoughts its my time This is my world at all costs its my time Its just a dream until you make it real Its all gone go if you dont feel Make it or just dream it Tellem bout it or make em scream it Hes the young kid with a mind like sonic Smoked on pip until he vomit An noone could stop it Teachers didn't faze him father wasn't alive to raise him His mom and family praised him For what for the nothing he became The shame the unfilled dreams The violent tears the screams The happiness he feigns He would drift off with his headphones Weeded out his head blown Quirky smirk with a mind full of sanity Sister cutting wrists on her vanity Wheres his humanity i never planned to be Me i always looked over my shoulder Carrying the weight of a boulder Pressure of a closer in the 9th innin But im winnin cause this is my ring my world Hiphop is my fling its my girl I put my pain to a lyric Yall can talk shyt but can't come near it Pa**ion is the game An i won't stop until yall knows my name