Lucian Kahn - I Heart Str8 Men (But Not 4 Sex) lyrics

[Lucian speaking] ...He wasn't out as Jewish Well, anyway. Um, we come from Brooklyn and all of us are trans and all of us are Jewish. And um, the first song we're gonna play for you is, um, a song that was inspired by uh, misadventures on Craigslist, looking at men for men personals [Ricky speaking] Heyy [Lucian speaking] Yeah we have sort of a tenancy to find like, people who are confused about what trans guys are, and what they're looking for, like straight guys sort of think - I don't know, they're expecting something else and are looking for something - I don't know This song is dedicated to confused people who cruise us on Craigslist, it is called "I love straight men but not for s**" [Lucian singing] His Craigslist ad says he's straight But he wants an FTM to date I am so perplexed I love straight men, but not for s** On the street he'd overlook us But now he wants to potch my tuchus I am really vexed I love straight men but not for s** [Lucian and Ricky] For I am a gay gay gay gay gay gay h*mo h*mo gay And I want a man to do me in a h*mo h*mo way I don't want the kind of sodomite who will put it in a broad at night Unless he's bi or queer or pan and wants to do me like a man! [Lucian] You say I am your fetish Your politics are makin' my head itch I am so perplexed I love straight men but not for s** I just got your creepy email You say you're looking for a she-male I am really vexed I love straight men, but not for s** [Lucian and Ricky] For I am a gay gay gay gay gay gay h*mo h*mo gay And I want a man to do me in a h*mo h*mo way I don't want the kind of sodomite who will put it in a broad at night Unless he's bi or queer or pan and wants to do me like a man! For I am a gay gay gay gay gay gay h*mo h*mo gay And I want a man to do me in a h*mo h*mo way I don't want the kind of sodomite who will put it in a broad at night Unless he's bi or queer or pan and wants to do me like a man! [Lucian speaking] This next song is um, inspired by people asking me awkward questions about the scars that I have right here. Um, people say "How did you get those scars there?" and the answer is - you know it! - Shark Attack! Yes, shark attack. That is how I got them. A shark attacked me in a very symmetrical way, so that I have exactly - yeah. A really precise shark. Okay, here it goes. [Nogga] Nom-nom. Nom-nom. Nom-nom nom-nom nom-nom nom-nom