Lord Buckley - The Nazz lyrics

[Sounds of people at a party] "What you say, Jack? How's everything, daddy? Yeah, say, he going to preach again today I guess he is going to preach again." "Yeah, but the cat ain't no real preacher. The cat ain't no real -" "He may not be no real preachin' cat to you but he - I dig what the man's putting down. Hey, hey, wait, wait a minute - here he come now. Look out there. Yeah." Yeah - here I is again. There's me - and there's you. And I dig all you cats out there whippin' and wailin' and jumpin' up and down and s**in' up that fine juice and pattin' each other on the back and tellin' each other who the greatest cat in the world is: Mr Malenkov, Mr Dalenkov, Mr Eisenhower - Woozen-Weezen-Wizen-Woozer and Mr Woodhill and Mr Beechill and Mr Churchill and all them Hills, they gonna get it straight. If they can't straighten it they know a cat that knows a cat that's gonna get it straight. Well I'm gonna put a cat on you was the sweetest, gonest, wailingest cat that ever stomped on this sweet swingin' sphere. And they called this here cat...The Nazz. That was the cat's name. He was a carpenter-kiddie. Now The Nazz was the kind of a cat that come on so wild and so sweet and so strong and so with it that, when he laid it - wham! - it stayed the re. Naturally all the rest of the cats looked to see what he puttin' down. They said "Man, look at the cat blow...let the cat go...the man lookit...get out the way...let the..." He said "Man, don't bug me. Get off my back - I'm tryin' to dig what the cat's saying', Jack ..." He say," cool." They pushin' The Nazz, because they want to dig his lick, you see - dig his miracle lick. So The Nazz say "Wait a minute, babies. Tell you what I'm a-goin' to do. I ain't goin' to take two, four, six, eight of you cats - But, I'm goin' to take twelve of you studs and straighten you all at the same time. You cats look like you pretty hip boys. You buddy wit' me." So The Nazz and his buddies was goofin' off down the boulevard one day and they run into a little cat wit' a bent frame. So The Nazz look at this little cat with the bent frame and he say "What's the matter wit' you, baby?" And the little cat with the bent frame, he say "Well, my frame is bent, Nazz- it's been bent from in front." So The Nazz look at the little cat with the bent frame and he put the golden eyes of love on this here little kiddie and he looked right down into the windows of his soul and he say to the little cat, he say "Straighten!" The cat went up straighter'n an arrow and everyone jumpin' up and down and sayin' "Look what The Nazz put on that boy! You dug him before - dig him now!" [Sung] When the Saints go marching in When the Saint go marching in I wants to be in that number When the Saints go marching in. Say when the Saints go marching in When the Saint go marching in I wants to be in that number When the Saints go marching in. Yes! I can feel it! Now you see The Nazz a-comin' on so strong and so fine and so great, talkin' about when's he gonna appear next, what did he do there, he put it down once for the cat, the cat dug it, didn't dig it. Put it down twice, dug it, didn't dig it. Put it down the third time, the cat dug it - wham! - walked away with his eyes buggin' out here 'n' there bumpin' into ever'body. The Nazz comin' on so fine and so strong, they pullin' on his coat-tail, they wantin' him to sign the autograph, they want him to do this gig here, they want him to do that gig there, they want him to make the radio and the video and all that jazz - he can't make all that jazz! Like I explained to you, the cat's a carpenter kiddie, he's got his own lick. But when he know he should show to blow and can not go, 'cause he got some strain on him, he sends a couple of these cats that he's straightenin'. So came a little old 50-cent gig one day, and The Nazz couldn't make it so he put it on two of these cats, he says "Boys, go straighten that...that little riff over there." Boys said "Take it off your mind, Nazz - we got it covered." So on the way over the boys run into a little old 20-cent pool of water, and they gets right in the middle of it in the boat and all of a sudden - blam! - a thunderstorm...the lightnin' flashin' and the thunder roarin' and the boat goin' up and down and these poor cats thinkin' ev'ry minute gonna be their last and one cat look up and... Here come The Nazz, cool as anyone you ever see, right across the water...walkin'! And The Nazz... there's a little boy on board - I think his name was Jude on board the boat - he say: "Hey, Nazz! Can I make it out there with you?" Nazz say "Make it, Jude!" And old Jude went stompin' off that boat, took about four steps, dropped his hold card - The Nazz had to stash him back on board again. So The Nazz look at these kiddies and he say "What's the matter wit' you babies now?" Says "What's goin' on here, boys?" He say "What's takin' place?" Say "What's all this fuss about here? What's goin' on?" They say "Man!" Say "What's goin' on?" Say "Can't you see the storm stormin' and the lightnin' flashin' and the thunder roarin' ...?" And The Nazz say "I told you stay cool, didn't I, babies?" When the Saints go marching in When the Saint go marching in I wants to be in that number When the Saints go marching in. Say when the Saints go marching in When the Saint go marching in I wants to be in that number When the Saints go marching in. Now the fame of The Nazz is jumpin'! The grapevine is shootin' off sparks forty feet long and they talkin' about what he said and how he stood up to all these big bad cats and dug all that bad jazz and put 'em all down, and what he said he gonna do and where he's gonna be and how he's gonna be until the grapevine is jumpin' so bad there is now sixteen thousand of these studs and kitties in the Nazz's little home town where the cat live, lookin' to get straight. Well...the Nazz know he can't straighten them all there - it's too small a place, don't want to hang everybody up, nobody can make it. So The Nazz look out at these sixteen thousand studs and kiddies and he say to them "Come on, babies. Let's cut on out down the road." There went The Nazz, swingin' away ahead of all these studs and kiddies, and sixteen thousand stompin' up a big - oh! - big swingin' beat behind him. And a great necklace of love is superchargin' and chargin' to 'em and - oh! -it's brother to brother and sister to sister and The Nazz is stompin' on a sweet swingin' beat goin' down the road, Nazz talkin' about how pretty the flowers, how pretty the hours, how pretty me, how pretty you, how pretty he, how pretty she... Nazz had them pretty eyes - he wanted ever'body to see through his eyes so they could see how pretty it was. And they havin' such a wailin', gorgeous, Mardi-Gras time that - before you know it - it was scarfin' time and these poor cats is forty-two miles out of town - ain't nobody got the first biscuit! Well The Nazz look at these cats and he say - they kickin' the sand out there - The Nazz say "You hungry, ain't you babies?" They say "Yeah, Nazz! We diggin' you so hard - what you puttin' down - that we didn't prepare, Nazz. We goofed - guess that's what you'd call it." So The Nazz say "Well - we gots to take it easy here. We wouldn't want to go ahead and order up somethin' you might not like, would we?" And they say "No, Nazz. You put it down - and we'll pick it up!" So The Nazz step back a few paces and he say "Oh great swingin' flowers of the fields!" And they said "Oh great nonstop singular sound of beauty!". And The Nazz say "Stamp upon the terra!" And they hit it. And The Nazz say "Straighten your miracle the body!" The body went up. And he says "Straighten your arms!" The arms went up. And he said "Higher!" And the arms went higher. And the Nazz say "Dig Infinity!" And they dug it! And when they did - wham! The thunder went too, and they look in the left hand, there's a great big sweet, stuffed, smoked fish. And in the other a big, thick loaf of that gone, crazy, honey-tastin', nonstop, sweet, swingin' Southern bread. Why, these poor cats flipped! Nazz never did nothin' simple... When he laid it, he laid it. Say when the Saints go marching in When the Saint go marching in I wants to be in that number When the Saints go marching in. Say when the Saints go marching in When the Saint go marching in I wants to be in that number When the Saints go marching in.