Longfellow - Apology Accepted lyrics

Why does this always happen? i ask the air with open arms facing the last remaining light of a warm october sky. it's alright, you don't need it when you find yourself defeated take a look around and ask: what am i to do? it's k**ing me and it's k**ing you. but i'll wait for it. and autumn always breaks my heart when the leaves are falling. and all it takes is a smile to knock me down again. where's the comfort in keeping distance it's the side effects of being fine. water only makes it better. don't you see that light it follows me in all directions and that's the furthest i'll climb without looking down. you said you'd stay until yor cigarette was done you know i don't smoke but god knows how i needed one.