Londrelle - Anti-Depressant lyrics
You know like sometimes man ,
i just , i just sit in my room , you know?
And just stare at the ceiling.
Just trying to understand life, You know?
I'm tired of hurting, just wanna be a better person?
i'm sorry I'm not who i used to be,
i guess i used to be a s**er for
love but i promise ain't no more using me,
I used to love you like it was two of me,
but i really can't be mad because
im glad of what i grew to be,
i guess thats how it goes usually.
I write this eulogy for you and me
with these said stipulations,
you know in order for you to grow
you have to stop watering dead situations.
even though in your heart you may feel sad inside,
but that pain is only temporary,
theres no need to agonize,
one day you'll be glad it died.
And satisfied knowing that you did
all that you can do, so what if nobody understands you.
All that matters is that you learn to light your own candle.
In other words, the light inside,
so that when times get dark you
can always see things on the brighter side.
because you have that light inside.
I guess that's how it go , you know?
we live and we learn,
we grow through, what we grow through,
but don't let life break you,
dont let failed relationships make you harder.
because when you do you loose your happiness.
You lose your sense of love and how to love. You know?
And create your own happiness.
Happiness reliant on anybody others than yourself
is only temporary, and love yourself, its a cold
world our here.
Nobody really wants to be alone
and its human nature to be pa**ionate,
but when somebody continues to hurt you,
why do you accept them back again.
Are you willing to sacrifice a few months
in exchange for your happiness.
Maybe you're also afraid of being alone
and thats the only things thats stopping you.
But its never too late or impossible to find love in solitude.
I know it may bother you and inside of you it may
feel like when doves cry.
But sometimes it's more than okay for you to let go
and maybe let love die.
And honestly sometimes i sit in my room
and i cry myself to sleep.
Trying not to let these suicidal thoughts
get the best of me, i really don't believe
love and relationships are in my destiny.
Because everybody that i've been with
has made a complete mess of me.
So i really don't think i have much left in me.
I know God is only testing me , but I'm
still here in this deep depression.
I guess i did'nt learn the first time and so
i have to repeat the lesson.
You know, everything in life comes with
a deeper message.
But deep inside of me i'm still trying to fight the feelings,
of leaving this world even though i know i have a right to live it.
This really can't be the life i'm living.
And i remember that night so vivid,
you left me in the street with blood in my eyes.
without a care in the world, like you
had nothing inside.
i guess thats what i get for trusting your lies.
See man , like life is a roller coaster, i guess, you know?
but i guess its worth the ride. You know?
Theres ups and downs , theres trials and tribulations.
Theres hurt , theres pain, and there is happiness, you know?
But all of this help us become better people.
And we all have suicidal thoughts, at least in my world we do.
In this world, there is no escape , the only escape is within you.
You have to dig deep inside of you and find that thing
that makes you happy. Find that thing that totally fulfill you in life. Because life is all about self fulfillment, no body else can fill your cup. it is up to you to fill your own cup. And that is the purpose of life, Self fulfillment and learning to love yourself.
You know, we all go through the same things, i am no different from you. I am no different from you. Love is what binds us.
It's unfortunate that those that say they love us, prove otherwise through their actions. And thats when you have you separate yourself from all the negativity and all the toxic situations, and all the toxic relationships and work on you.
Because at the end of the day man.....and woman ....(laughs)
its all about you. Its all about you. Yeah , i pray for your healing, i pray for your happiness, all abundance. Its going to be okay.