Lin-Manuel Miranda - Scene 6: The Salon lyrics
MUSIC 5A: USNAVI'S DANCE LESSON (The ladies are packing.) [DANIELA] You know me, I don't like to talk about nobody, pero...oye esto! [CARLA] Dani, don't! My pastor told me gossip is a sin. [DANIELA] Jesus, perdóname. Gladys went behind my back for a ten dollar hairdo and guess what she found in her extensions? Una cuaracha. One of the big ones, with wings. (NINA enters.) [NINA] Hey, ladies... [DANIELA] Entre mija! [CARLA] Mira quién es! [VANESSA] Hells yeah, she's back! [NINA] (To VANESSA.) [VANESSA] Guess who confiscated my phone? Next fall, put me in your suitcase and take me with you. [NINA] (To DANIELA.) [DANIELA] And what are we, chopped chuletas? [CARLA] Pobrecita, you need a makeover. [NINA] I have to go help my mom...I'll see you at dinner? [DANIELA] I'll be packing. Tomorrow we close that door forever! [NINA] Oh no. (Sits.) Alright, ten minutes. [DANIELA] Can you believe the salon's moving to the Bronx. [VANESSA] Gettin' out the barrio and headin' into the hood. [DANIELA] (To NINA.) They keep raising the rent, what can I do? [NINA] Man, now who's going to mess up my highlights? [DANIELA] Ungrateful! I mess up your highlights at a discount price. And if you come visit in the Bronx, free eyebrow waxing! [NINA] You're the only person who touches these brows. [DANIELA] So I see. Tweezers! (VANESSA hands her the tweezers.) [CARLA] Ay pero, what happened to these curls? You need some hair gel mami. MUSIC 6: NO ME DIGA [NINA] Oh god, do not make my hair all crunchy! [DANIELA] You have to accept hair gel into your life! [DANIELA] Gorgeous! [CARLA] Linda! [CARLA/DANIELA] Tell me something I don't know! [VANESSA] Vieja! [DANIELA] Sucia! [CARLA] Cabrona! [CARLA/VANESSA/DANIELA] Tell me something I don't know! [CARLA] A little off the top! [DANIELA] A little off the side! [NINA] A little bit of news you've heard around the barrio! [ALL] Tell me something I don't know! [DANIELA] Bueno You didn't hear it from me! But some little birdie told me Usnavi had s** with Yolanda! [NINA/CARLA] No me diga! [VANESSA] Ay, no! He'd never go out with a skank like that! Please tell me you're joking! [DANIELA] Okay! Just wanted to see what you'd say! [CARLA] Oh ho, Dani! [CARLA/NINA/DANIELA] Tell me something I don't know! (at Vanessa) Mmm-hmm-mmm… [VANESSA] What? I don't care! [ALL] Ay, bendito! [DANIELA] So, Nina, I hear you been talking to Benny [NINA] And what do you hear? [DANIELA] I hear plenty! They say he's got quite a big… taxi! [CARLA/VANESSA] No me diga! [NINA] Okay! I don't wanna know where you heard all that! [CARLA] I don't think I know what you mean… [DANIELA] Carla! He's packing a stretch limousine! (CARLA gets it. They all laugh.) [VANESSA/DANIELA/NINA] Tell me something I don't know! [CARLA] Long as he keeps it clean! [NINA/VANESSA/DANIELA] Ay dios mio! (The women hoot and holler.) [DANIELA] Nina, seriously, we knew you'd be the one to make it out! [VANESSA] I bet you impressed them all out west; You were always the best, no doubt! [CARLA] We want front row seats to your graduation— [DANIELA] They'll call your name— [DANIELA/CARLA/VANESSA] And we'll scream and shout! (They cheer for NINA. The music stops.) [NINA, spoken] You guys, I dropped out. [DANIELA/CARLA/VANESSA] No me diga?! [NINA] I should go. (She exits.) [DANIELA] That's a sh**ty piece of news. [CARLA] That girl never quit anything. [DANIELA] Muchacha never got a B! [VANESSA] She got a C in gym once. I had to talk her off the fire escape. [DANIELA] Maybe the pressure cooker couldn't take it and pah, the lid flew off! [VANESSA] But why? What the hell happened? [DANIELA] I don't know… [DANIELA/CARLA] I don't know [DANIELA] I don't know... [CARLA/VANESSA] Tell me something I don't know! [ALL] Qué sé yo?