Lil G - Dizaster vs Lil G lyrics

[Round 1: Lil G] Yo Dizaster You're a b**h rapper and a sh** packer Give up, pimp master When my ho's get cabs, he's the dispatcher Yo, you can get back with your b**h After she gets lathered up in jizz batter Her chin crack and get fractured on impact when I dick slap her C'mon guys, I mean, my co*k weighs hundreds of pounds When it thumps on the ground it makes a thunderous sound I dug a b**h out, I went from the c*nt to the brown I dig from her bu*t to her mouth in a circular motion I call that "f**ing around" Your b**h calls that "the most gully of miracles" But don't sweat it But for fact cause she takes my co*k in her cereal See, yo the last time I hit it, I caught a venereal So I guess we're not the only ones dealing with Caustic materials Yo, the minute I rip it up, her vagina's watery Cause I roll with such a big knob, nobody wants to try to talk to me See, the real f**ing Mayan prophecy Was that I already won, one kid and this ain't China's policy I say, so f** your f**ing b**h, I don't give a f** See my nuts will crush your f**ing face See you can't rap, see we already know that See everybody's gonna cop cause you're Dizaster, you're the beast See you represent your van, I represent Van City You represent L.A., so go back to where you came from See Van' is my city, this is why I relate So guess what? Today's your day [Round 1: Dizaster] Alright, I need everybody to sing with me Lil G, Lil G My did is as big as me (Lil G, Lil G) I have to fold it in half and hold it with both of my hands when I pee (Lil G, Lil G) They thought I wouldn't make it but I'm headlining over Tricky P Yo, signing up to this battle was like an open d**h wish Cause his f**ing flow is reckless He'll take Mad Child and Snak The Ripper and eat 'em both for breakfast A bo*er breakfast! You guys are f**ing evil Why would you even want to see this? You got me all the way out here battling with Slim Premature Fetus Jesus He doesn't have friends cause he doesn't need sh** Cause he is best friends with his own penis Goddamn it, why the f** is this fetus talking? This is what Steven Hawkins would look like if he was walking Your presence in this game is strong enough to impact lives When kids see you they start screaming and running cause they thought they just saw one of them creatures from The Hills Have Eyes He said, "I got a big head, but it's not as big as my dick head!" Goddamn you f**ing bobblehead, looking like a f**ing rat with whiskers They got me battling with a f**ing Master Splinter action figure He's Little G, the leader of Van City and T.O Had a dick battle with Ron Jeremy and he bodied him 3-0 [Round 2: Lil' G] Yo, this penis is equal to none I'm inconceivably hung It rises in the west and sets east of the sun I can't list all the achievements at once But check your girl's p**y if you wanna see what its done! It started growing when I was a seed in my mum That's when the inches stopped and the meters begun The hospital would keep me to do research for months To the joy of many nurses eager to fu*k I mean, I put hoes in rehab to keep it a buck Cause my skeet is a drug Now b**hes fiend for the cum Yo, I'm a midget percussionist how I reach for the drum With shells for this terrorist, he can see 51 I got a b**h out in east Van', I hit it like a speed bag See you thought your chick was the bomb? You should've seen the one that G had (jihad) You know how I just said, I'm putting hoes in rehab Yo, called your girl last night, I think she's ready for a relapse Cause she gives me dome, like half a circle Her head was relieving like an Advil commercial See I stuffed up her a**, a squirrel, a cat and a gerbil And now she has a red rim, like the gla**es on Urkel What? Are you surprised? Cause look at what I'm packing I put it in her a** and she took it like a champion Let me catch her prancing, two shorties I be slamming Dick hanging out the window, it be looking like it dancing [Round 2: Dizaster] Goddamn, it is literally impossible to beat him f**, why me man? Got me battling with this little f**ing Wee Man My little f**ing homie he's 3'10", have you seen him? If he was part of the f**ing Two And A Half Men it would called Three Men He's the white 50, trying to pick a fight with me Look like a dwarf so I'm not talking c**aine when I say I have the Snow White with me Used to work for Santa Claus at the North Pole but got fired quickly Cause I gave his wife hickeys! And now I spend the rest of my day in a tree trunk making mixtapes and baking Rice Krispies f**ing little Hobbit, could probably fit him in my little pocket A f**ing embryonic midget bar smith A little f**ing gimp straight outta kindergarten Picture him in his apartment Sitting there with his little retarded helmet with the spinner on it f**ing holding up a coloring book with saliva spit dripping off it With a f**ing scribble drawing of me as a stick figure as his finished project Little G, dick so big all the b**hes want it That's his only single topic So big Lorena Bobbitt tried to f**ing chop it but she broke her scissors on it I know these are some f**ed up jokes, some people over here are probably offended I don't give a f** dawg, I couldn't help the forehead jokes, I mean I could not help it This guy looks like he was born with a RoboCop helmet I bet if you stared at a spoon long enough you could probably bend it Got all f**ed up looking and I'm trying to figure out how It's like his mom was pregnant for three months and he's like, "f** it mom I'm coming out now." Man you look like Fievel Alright time, f** it [Round 3: Lil G] I need a documentary called Legends Of co*k Yo, the head of this knob will put you in the presence of God See, tried to park at my apartment, took up 70 spots I had to rent out a dock and put it next to my yacht See, dick like sediment rock Mean I'm getting head in the drop It never gets soft See I drink President Scotch You drink Peppermint Schnapps Shout outs to my sponsors Heckler and Crotch Cause I don't know nothing 'bout the Grape Street Crips See the only life I know is this 80 inch I mean, ask the last man that ate these clips See I keep the ratchet here in Van', like the A-Team's whip See all you do, is a bunch of yelling and screaming But I ain't gonna talk loud when this metal is speaking I mean, forget about my whole genital region Just the head of my penis could span across the entire desert in Egypt The same place you say your pledge of allegiance See, don't play me like a Billy Boondocks Because...unless you wanna see a repeat of Big and 2Pac See that's all Gravy, I keep a biscuit in my tube sock And I call that hammer "Hanson" cause I let that blicky "Mmmbop" I can't tell if you're an Arab or a white man But if I see you at the airport I'm switching up my flight plan Yo, I got this, best believe I f** my fans It's Lil G...know who the f** I am! [Round 3: Dizaster] I said listen Your head's so big couldn't fit in a kufi You have more brain than the b**h Lucy from that movie And you got great alien swag If the sun hit you and casted a shadow on the wall it would look like Roger from American Dad And he's lying, he doesn't have no girlfriend either On Facebook he says he's dating "Angela" but nobody's seen ever her That's because there's no actual b**h, he's in a relationship with his own wiener You go on f**ing Facebook and change the status to "in a relationship with my own dick" He's on some cold sh** He's like, "My dick is my favorite person in the world It talks to me when I'm alone When I'm asleep and b**hes call me, it picks up the phone Goddamn, I'm choking now Oh oh, the words won't come out It looks like my palms are sweaty, my knees are weak and arms are heavy There's falafel on my sweater already It was shawarma it wasn't mom's spaghetti Hold on we're not ready This guy over here trying to stop me I'm getting f**ing cut off by an Afghani Ziggy Marley f**ing uh, little f**ing test tube baby I'm f**ing done, f**ing...