Lil Dicky - White Dude lyrics

[Hook: Lil Dicky] And y'ain't even want it with da boy Cause the way I'm livin life, is a muthaf**in joy On some grown man B.I. I could have been a girl Or any ethnicity up in the world But I'm rollin with the top back I ain't gotta worry where the cops at I ain't gotta wear a f**ing bra strap Me and the crew Are really doing everything that we like to Man it's a damn good day to be a white dude [Verse 1: Lil Dicky] sh**, I'm living good up in this b**h Dicky rollin round the city, blowin good up in that wip I ain't black or Dominican, not Hispanic or Indian So imprisonment is not a predicament, I envision For a white boy Hollatcha muthaf**in kike, boy Higher than a muthaf**in kite, it's iight boi They ain't suspicious of j**s I'll show contrition it's cool Slap on the wrist, get ma daddy to choose One of them top lawyers dat be rollin round in his crew I'm eating chop soy and bowlin on a carnival cruise Das what I do kid Happy that my name ain't stupid Dave coulda been Daquan with a few kids But now I'm farting, overeating at meals, If ain't I gotta theme party, Ion't be at goodwill I'm dentist paying, tennis playing, smellin on some cabernet And I ain't gay but if I was, everything would be okay, look... I know I'm being condescending in ma rhymes But ma premium channels mean tyler perry's never live Getting tickets, they sick, I sit at the eagle 45 Where I'm eating when I'm high's where they eat at to survive (food chainssss) [Hook] [Verse 2: Lil Dicky] Yeah. It's little DI in this b**h ho Happy that I'm white, but relieved I ain't a chick yo I never wake up and have to cake on ma make up Or straighten hair, I ain't given a damn I'm wearing whatever I wanna in this muthaf**a They up in heels And tummy tuckin, theyon't grub except for takin them pills, foreal... And ion't bleach sh** Ion't gotta eat dick I ain't bleeding up out ma penis Smoking the weed, ion't fall asleep because I'm cheefing In disagreements, I participate without weeping And when I'm freaking, I'm getting daps, high fives, and all that Ma rep goin up, and at best, ho a s*ut So what up Ya boy cut up But eat bu*ter And I ain't gotta speak to ma mother... to still love her And I been getting better looking with age But a guy can get who he deserves with a horrible face Seal interlude I go on dates, and never have to worry bout getting raped And I watch a game and never have to worry bout how it's played And I meet a babe and never have to act deliriously fake And if impregnate I can pack a back and be on my way, but good luck girl! [Hook] [Outro: Lil Dicky] Yeah... I'm happy as f** man First off I'm a dude so There was a one in two chance of that s**ing But now I can run a seven minute mile I can defend my self adequately I can be logical I can get along with my room-mates Watch serious movies without being scared by them And the on top of that I'm white Which is like, amazing because Everybody naturally a**umes I'm a great person I get a fair shot at the life I deserve I mean I could underachieve my way into any college in the country I get my hair cut at a salon People hold the door open for me which is nice Er, I never have to get into a fight, like, for social purposes And please don't take this as me just disparaging black people It ain't about that It's about me being happy that I'm white, know what I'm saying? But on that note, could someone explain to me why Fat Joe, and any other person of Hispanic descent, is allowed to say the N-word I mean I guess it's unrelated but like that sh** don't make any sense I've been thinking about that sh** a lot Because like if I could say the N-word, it would really help my rhyme scheme out It's like the perfect filler word