Lexa Terrestrial - 自殺 // Suicide lyrics

Lexa Terrestrial on some existential Thought provoking bo*er inducing, straight confusion on my conscious soaking.i had hope, dreams, flow queen, outgoing.. Wanna quote me loathing fear i'm just here choking from my rope swing. Why the hell do i stay healthy, i won't make it past 30. i told my mom that i was suicidal- thought i was joking and laughed. Said i'm dramatic & exotic.. too potent.. too toxic. Maybe i'm just too deep for your kiddy pool nonsense. Seems like my mind is just a basket for this trash that i compacted and these walls inside my head- it's like i built myself a casket.I'm not asking for a better life, a better mind perhaps cause i don't have it. Synaptic path can't grasp if it's inactive. If you think you won't be happy, if you think that you aren't loved- you're wrong. can't realize it when fears pilling, i'll try to spit this song. I pray the words i wrote invoke so hope to carry on because inevitably, eventually, we age and can't hang on. ugh. I keep on going keep on working keep on trying. or i lose all f**ing hope, i stop the grinding start the dying. And i'm bitter.. but i'm not a quitter. Life's a b**h, i'd miss her. Got respect for my man, i'll be his baby til the day i can't. Na na na na, na na na na, na na na na, na na na na, na na na na. Na na na na, na na na na, na na na na, na na na na, na na na na. No gas i'm self driven.. speed away from fears. But the cops they pull me over and they found some empty beers. I guess these nights they aren't for sleeping- got my pillow soaked in tears. I keep my eyes open and dreaming let them drip into my ears, weird. I've never been this committed to suicide... especially cause my friend just died. Someone in my head screaming. How'd they get inside?I can't prioritize importance my whole life has been objectified. Big bu*ts and bad luck they say slow n' steady wins the race. I'm fast paced and reckless kinda hard to chase. Been running round in circles kinda hard to trace. ugh, patience is a virtue but its hurts to wait. Here comes that lump in my throat again, don't think that i can play pretend. My mind is telling me i'm gonna f** it up again, so i'll probably f** it up again... probably f** it up again...