Lewis Black - Environmental Terrorism or Global Warming? lyrics

After September 11 things really got weird Cause we did not have a fall, we had a spring We did not have a fall there wasn't a fall anywhere And your quite scares me a little, as if your f***in' Your like the rest of the country n**ody noticed it It was f***in' warmer, it was the warmest fall ever And that.. theres no such thing as a warm fall its a spring, so thats bullsh** the leaves didn't even change colour, they just got so hot and tired they fell off the trees. and i was the only one who cared to even write about it I was goin 'This is f***ed. Its 75 at the end of November, by the middle of December its goin be 130. people come home from work the sun a foot from their g****** heads sweatin' like pigs going to get something from the refrigarator to get something to drink, and the eggs are DONE.' n**ody worried about the weather, people were worried cause it was after september 11, people were worried about anthrax. 4 people died,4,FOUR! And the whole g****** country went sonava b****, everybody went nuts. I've never seen any.. I was in Rala, Missouri, because my life is a rich full f***ing waster, cause apparently if you say come perform i'm like a dancin' monkey. And a, So i went to Rala, and if you're ever thinkin of k**in yourself that's the town. Don't k** yourself here its a nice place there's a lot of distractions you won't even get around to it but if you were really contimplating it there's the place there'll be no distractions you'll just get there and go 'f***. phew!' It'll be no problem for you. But the good people of Rala, Missouri were worried about getting anthrax and i said "What the f***.. what you nuts, you gonna get it in a K-mart catalog a** hole even the Taliban isn't iterested in you, you idiot look where you live you're already dead. But they were worried about anthrax, people worried bout smallpox. I don't worry bout smallpox i got a vacine i got a scar to prove it, cause back then they didn't have the proper equipment they used a c**e cap and they scratched me. so if i get smallpox i'm gonna sue whoever it is that you f***in' sue when you get smallpox. but i am cause they took me out of cla** to get that vacine and if i wouldn't been in that cla** i wouldn't be doin this bullsh**. that's where things went wrong i got offtrack. People were worried about smallpox and anthrax meenwhile we hadn't had a spring, a ligitamte spring in 50 f***in' years. and now it was fall b-b-but it was spring and i kept screeming at people look at the calander we're going backwards, we're going f***ing backwards! I was afraid it might be environmental terrorism, some afgani in one of those mountains back there in a cave with aluminum foil on his head, got ahold of a bunch of black and white TV's and he was f***in with us. If it's not environmental terrorism then its a... it coulda been a... well its obviously global warming. that's what it is and we're not gonna deal with that either. 135 nations signed the global warming treaty, we didn't, we didn't we wonder why the world thinks we're arogant haha 135 nations signed the treaty we go hey go f*** yourself's we dont give... go s** on our s***t,s** on our s***t. you sign the treaty a** hole you sign the f***in treaty and then we do whatever we want but pretend pretend you're interested. 135 nations, nations that couldn't even read the treaty signed the treaty, had to explain it tol them bur bur, sweatty sweatty, signy signy. we didn't sign it because George W. Bush JR. our president dosen't beleive there's global warming cause i guess he doesn't have any SKIN! Here's a man who was an idiot till september 11 and nows he a genius and in between he reminded us he's an idiot just recently when he choked on a pretzel, you gotta be an idiot to choke on pretzel, no one has ever choked on a pretzel