Lewis Allen - LORDOFAUTUMN lyrics

Lord of Autumn Leaves fall down for me Trees fall down lonely People gon talk sh** about me Wolves gon talk to me I relate more to dead men than I should Am I a product of it? Is my disorderly conduct cuz it got my body bloody? Could I eat for that? My momma want ya boy to eat from rap Cuz I don't sleep for that Maybe should've been a doctor or something and made your fortune off a easy trap but I ain't beat for that I'd rather hang out the window with my heart failing I get weak for that Might quit my job next week for that And be a bum a** n***a til I meet respect I'm on hold With these hoe a** n***as Talking about they got all my best interest But when I got some new sh** coming they don't show no interest I should charge interest And throw up all the APRs before I lose my senses and grab 8 ARs and disperse before the verse on 8 new cars Until you n***as do what you say you will you know you false But how could I expect respect in a country built of showing all these young n***as neglect In the mirror fill my head up with a load of success But it ain't a matter of time It's a risk and bet Man people don't see your struggle They just see your muscle And compare your accolades to the new and the vets And we don't even help each other We just want to be best And I just wanna help my parents get the f** out of debt Man I cry a little Inside a little I wanna be so big and wonder why I'm little There's a high possibility that this could be my last song Something always told me that this sh** wouldn't last long I called Beamon we was screaming on the damn phone I check my backseat every night fore I'm back home I shouldn't feel like I gotta watch my back long But the boro getting darker than this black gun I hit the streets Police lurking I'm a regular here I'm on my way to put her legs in the air The only sanity I have is with my lady and my n***as Look at life and know that motherf**er never play fair If you love me know I pa** by ya house sometimes I see your silhouette and leave cuz I ain't meant to be there I play the game to keep my mind occupied Cuz when it's idle Almost want to kiss a gun and put my brains everywhere I feel bad if you relate I just hate that I could never make a happy a** song And that's why people don't care And if you tryna be my manager its hard Because how do you manage a n***a hated for all of the sh** that he is Contemplated on the thought of recreating myself But I love me Could probably masturbate to myself And my ego just gon k** me after raping itself If this is nothing then call d**h and tell him take me to Hell I ain't soulful I'm soul less Distant motherfukers always telling me I'm so blessed So what? I'm depressed I'm knee deep in sh** river This n***a need a reset A new life on the other side in the deep west People always thinking that my thinking villain-ated like I'm looking at you f**ers picking who I'm gonna compete with I'm so far f**ed up Knees to my chest Tearing up Thinking what the f** is here for me next I'm locked in a bottle with a proof on the front Degenerate f**in settlement I'll sleep when it's done I been smiling all my life Now I fake it for fun I don't ever feel welcome I don't go through the front I don't wave at my neighbors I ain't sharing your blunts Im about to set the world on fire If I'm blunt I've lost too much to afford giving a f** You always think you have forever til whenever is up