Leslie Fish - True Story lyrics

Harmless historical nuts Who wear boiler plate on their bu*ts Who dress up in clothes from the twelfth century To bash on each other with sticks and debris And make up the world's largest private army Harmless historical nuts As I was out shopping, expecting no harm Two big FBI men grabbed me by the arm Dragged me into a cellar, shone lights in my eyes Demanding full answers without any lies About a new threat to good patriotism: This "Society for Creative Anarchism." I said they're just Harmless historical nuts Who wear boiler plate on their bu*ts Who dress up in clothes from the twelfth century To bash on each other with sticks and debris And make up the world's largest private army Harmless historical nuts I answered, "'Tis true, to that club I belong But pardon me, gentlefolk, you've spelled the name wrong Now I swear by the Cross and the Host and the Chrism That last word is actually 'anACHronism' It just means 'outdated'. Pray why don't you look In Sir Merriam-Webster's reliable book?" It says we're just Harmless historical nuts Who wear boiler plate on our bu*ts Who dress up in clothes from the twelfth century To bash on each other with sticks and debris And make up the world's largest private army Harmless historical nuts When finally persuaded to look up the word They blushed and they winced, loud enough to be heard They hastily sent me back out on the street But I knew 'twasn't over, and once more we'd meet So I pa**ed on the warning to realms far and near To give the impression for all the next year That we're just Harmless historical nuts Who wear boiler plate on our bu*ts Who dress up in clothes from the twelfth century To bash on each other with sticks and debris And make up the world's largest private army Harmless historical nuts And soon enough four infil-TRAITORS came in All snooping for politics, sniffing for sin Three went away again, scratching their heads But the fourth quit his job and turned stick jock instead He's won coronets, he's in love with the sport And we still have a copy of his last report It says we're just Harmless historical nuts Who wear boiler plate on our bu*ts Who dress up in clothes from the 12th century To bash on each other with sticks and debris And make up the world's largest private army Harmless historical nuts Harmless historical nuts