Leslie Fish - Serious Steal lyrics

Well, our girlfriends up and left us cold In the middle of Estrella War And left us stranded in the middle of the field And we thought it a crashing bore We had nothing with us but what we'd brought Our cars and our camping gear A box of condoms and some toys And a warm six-pack of beer So grab your pants, find your socks, Brush your teeth with a comb If you can't get laid at Estrella War You might as well go on home So we went back to our lonely camp And we spent a horny night Then we all lined up at the showers and We washed in the morning light We dressed up in our finest clothes Our swords had sheaths at hand And we went off hunting maidenheads A happy, horny band So grab your pants, find your socks, Brush your teeth with a comb If you can't get laid at Estrella War You might as well go on home The very first lady that we found She was a duchess bold She said she had no maidenhead But her camp was down the road So we took her back to her jolly old camp Her maidenhead to find She gave her all to help our search From vespers to compline So grab your pants, find your socks, Brush your teeth with a comb If you can't get laid at Estrella War You might as well go on home The very next camp that we came to The ladies had gone mad Their lords had joined Blue Feather And that was all they had Our armor proved out bulletproof Our weapons worked as well Their lords they thanked us long and loud For saving them from Hell So grab your pants, find your socks, Brush your teeth with a comb If you can't get laid at Estrella War You might as well go on home Camp by camp we worked our way Just to see who we could lay The legends that we left behind Were a Roman holiday! For now the ladies seek us out For to take their troubles on And be their bedmates through the night Whene'er their lords are gone Grab your pants, find your socks, Brush your teeth with a comb If you can't get laid at Estrella War You might as well go on home How can we not take up this task To serve our ladies' need? How can we leave them all alone When we hear them beg and plead? We spent our time at the War in bed, We had 'em by threes and fives! And we gotta say this was a War We'd hoped for all our lives! So grab your pants, find your socks, Brush your teeth with a comb If you can't get laid at Estrella War, If your s** life is a crashing bore, And all you can find is a two-bit... You might as well go home! You might as well go home!