Les Savy Fav - Adopduction lyrics

Kidnapped! I was kidnapped I dreamed I was kidnapped I dreamed I was kidnapped By a guy with a moustache And a chick with an eyepatch Who thought they could trade me back For some quick cash But when they relayed the bargain My family said, "We'll pay half that." The haggling went on for days The days went on for weeks and weeks for years Riding in the trunk was never fun But soon I plum ran out of tears They camped us in the woods, we cooked canned goods They never threatened me with pain They treated cops politely, driving nightly Always using coded names So if slowly I could trust them Dare I say it even love them, who's to blame? I learned my alphabet and letterset While setting up my latest ransom note They got me correspondence cla**es, gave me gla**es Gave me dropcloths in the cold My fondest memories are from my hostage crises I know it's strange Although we got so close You know they never even told me their real names