Les Claypool - Ol' Rosco lyrics

Have you seen ol' Rosco He likes to drink when he drives Have you seen ol' Rosco I wouldn't be a bit surprised If he's out there now Driving like mad Swerving and weaving Thinks he's a model dad Like a ba*tard he's grinning With teeth full of bugs Headin' home from the brewery The old lunch time chug-a-lug Have you seen ol' Rosco He doesn't think when he drives Have you seen ol' Rosco I am a bit surprised That they haven't nailed him For drivin' like a fool Except maybe that one time Drivin' his daughter home from dancin' school You see the caught him red-nose slurring He blew a .09 Made his wife come and get him Paid him a 200 dollar fine Have you seen ol' Rosco He's too damn drunk to drive Seen him pissin' in the bathroom That's when he gave me the evil eye I said, "Boy I think you had too many Why don't you give up them keys?" He told me to mind my business Said he's, said he's gonna do as he damn well please So I ordered hot coffee An an Oly on tap I put the Oly to my lips Then I poured the hot coffee in his lap Have you seen ol' Rosco He wasn't supposed to drive He left here three hours ago His wife says he never arrived He could be out there bleedin' In the bottom of some ditch Some say it serves him right The selfish sons-a-b**h But this time he went head on With a purple PT Cruiser Came out without a scratch That's the dumb luck of a boozer Have you seen ol' Rosco They say he's lucky to be alive As for the driver of the Cruiser I'm told she may not survive And she's the mother of three Well, two for sure See, the one in her belly Had to be taken premature Now Rosco feels bad Afraid he might get sued Good thing he's incorporated You see, not as much risk to lose Have you seen ol' Rosco Now they won't let him drive His son takes him bar hopping He slips some drinks on the side His wife's always bragging How he ain't drank in a while Just afternoon nappin' Life's great in denial Life's great in denial