[Verse 1] There's been a murder Polis Ye ken this, ye know this I'm Stocious I got the boldness, hold this, oh this? The goldness, I stole this So swish! My vocalism show this! Ye wonder why I'm scunnered, I'll get to explainin' I was on a break fae my commonwealth training Qualified just fae the breeks that I'm wearing Was gonnae do the javelin - It widnae stop raining Entertaining visitors is pure dead brilliant But when I talk to them, they're brickin' it a dillion This accent doesnae mean we're gonnae k** you We might But we probably willnae So we're the spawny hosts of Commonwealthy So we're aw gonnae boost we're heavy healthy Hawd up, Grado, it's yersel', Eh? Gen up, lemme take a selfie! Bolt! Bolt? You sayin' bolt? Jamaican ma heid bile, that's you heavy told! Hawd on, the sun's oot! TAPS AFF! Aw naw, the sun's away, back to the gaff [Hook 1] Parliamo Glasgow Do you speaka da lingo? It's a lexicon am arnae drunk, no by jingo I'm no mexicano but I'm funky bilingual Parliamo Glasgow Sprechen sie die lingo? It's a lexicon am arnae drunk, no by jingo I'm no mexicano but I'm funky bilingual [Verse 2] It's a no mean city, it's a dear green place But blue is a colour too, maybe just in case You're a grumpy numpty, heavy riddy face Cos ye cannae just embrace the fact, we're all a human race Hell, mend ye, didnae want to go offend ye You're limited to bigotry enough, that's plenty Danger! Danger! You get a slapping off a Stranger! Stranger! Didnae like yer tap and so he's Maimed ya! Maimed ya! Colour-coded scrapping like the power rangers Weans ye, ya weans ye Ye didnae get it? get ott ma heidspace Look! Pelters a belter on ma wee face Book! Wine on ma vine, tweet tweet on ma twitter I'm busy instabammin' wae ma dinner - It's a fritter Wae your snapchat, backchat, wrap it like a snapback Drap that rank that, Sack that. Catch that? Did ye, aye? Actual factual? Scoobyless tube ye, let's Patch ya, catch ya! [Hook 2] Parliamo Glasgow Do you speaka da lingo? It's a lexicon am arnae drunk, no by jingo I'm no mexicano but I'm funky bilingual Parliamo Glasgow Czy mowi po lingo? It's a lexicon am arnae drunk, no by jingo I'm no mexicano but I'm funky bilingual [Verse 3] Izzata marra on yer barra clava? Cos I seen ye by the way, by the barras way, tharra way! Whit?! Can I bug ye for a fifty, shuggy? Fer a tuggy, on a thrifty puggy Wae ya go, ya mug, before I plug ye Whit?! It's incomprehensible That's reprehensible Ye cannae say it sensible? Expect to be dispensible Ostensibly I'm speaking in defence of weegie patter Extensively I'm shriekin' with intensive weegie chatter Pretentiously yer seekin' an offensive piece of tatter So eventually yer reakin' like a mess of fecel matter Nonsensicaledonian glesga gibberish Wrap it round yer dial like yer eatin' sticky liquorice Mate, I'm sick O' this Nick O' this I'm fer the offski Just aboot tae finish this Glasgow! I like you sonny But only as a buddy Don't be trying nothing funny Like be tappin' tonnes of money No, I havnae got a pun Ye wernae listening, yer onto Hee Haw Got you all on tick Leo and Wee man Peas in a pod Highland silent raver And a lowly, noisy toad In the name o' the wee man, In the name O' God Let's go a donder yonder up roon toon And up 'eh road! I'm outty! I'm outty! Do us a favour and gie yer maw A shouty! A shouty! Proud O' Ye, Proud O' Ye, Proud O' Ye, Proud, O' Ye...