Take off your shoes, step right this way There's no need to panic, just be very afraid We are the knee-jerk Gestapo, too little too late We are the window dressing for your Draconian state We are the Mall Cops of Freedom, so do as we say We are here to protect you, you are here to obey The airport Stasis, the TSA We are the hall monitors for the USA Step away from the curtain, there is nothing to see No corporate masters, no hucksters of greed We are here to distract you from your real enemies While their fleecing your pockets for their insatiable greed We'll strip-search your Grandmas, take their lotions away You look like al-Qaida with moisture grenades We'll teach you submission the American way Everyone's suspect so all of you pay Surrender that soda, give up your pomade If there's more than 3 ounces there'll be hell to pay We told you once, don't make us say it again We're here to protect you, you're here to obey You're here to obey The TSA You're here to obey Be very afraid