Laurence Overmire - Mr. Baggot lyrics

Mr. Baggot is a very successful man Stocked and bonded, nouveau Richelieu Belongs to the club, leisurely suited To playing golf and drinking iced Tea with just a hint of lemon. His conversation, properly edified by a prestigious Eastern school, revolves around the Pressing issues of the day: Why, for example, must a grilled cheese Sandwich be outrageously priced at Three dollars and ninety-five cents When a slice of cheese costs only a nickel? Summoning the waiter with a demanding 'Hey you! ' nameless, faceless lad Who nods submissively to the Punishing invective, a**ures Mr. B He will not be charged, offering Profuse apologies for slandering the Integrity of his wallet. Satisfied, the Baggot snorts through His nose, relishing the spoils of Another three dollars and more Out-cla**ing the opposition with the sheer Force of a dominant will. 'Heh, heh, ' he chuckles Laying down his napkin Leaving a quarter as a generous Tip.