Laurence Overmire - Achilles Goes Shopping lyrics

Gripping the cart, knuckles white with fear He gazed what seemed a mile of aisle Cases stacked full with dreamy whipped Flavor on flavor of cool refreshing Ice Cream! Bowing his head He bolted across the floor Not daring to look on left or right His feet breezing like Hermes across The linoleum with oh! such a Slide at the finish. But just as he made the turn A home stretch to the register and Freedom He spied out the corner of his unwary Eye, the tempting froth of frosty Strawberry Ripple peeking out the top of an Olympian bucket, some trickster had viciously marked “On Sale.” His hand, out of body, acted on its own Shoved aside the blithering brain Grabbed the heavenly concoction And flew effortlessly through the checkout Without the slightest protest or whimper Of remorse. At home on the sofa, spoon in hand A smile of sophistic satisfaction Erased the last semblance of reason His stubby fingers loosening his belt One more notch Thinking with absolute conviction, by Zeus! That the diet could easily be resumed Promptly On the morrow.