SEWARD Taxis to Houston and steamships to Rio ARTHUR Biograph pictures in Wiltons all day QUINCEY Specials to Paris and hot air ballooning MINA & LUCY Phonograph Cylinders ready to play Camera's with shutters, internal combustion Phone up your uncle in Shorham-by-Sea Cross the Atlantic and be there by Thursday Jump on a trolley and be home by three SEWARD Somewhere in Vienna, there's a chap called Freud who's sure That it's useless to chain up madmen He gets better results with his talking cure QUINCEY Winchester repeaters gonna have to watch their backs They've got the bolt action Hotchkiss But the Hun's got a gun gives ya three more cracks ALL Here comes the modern world The wonderful modern world Off to old fashioned thinking On with the new Hello to the modern world The breathtaking modern world There's nothing today that you can't do ARTHUR My old four speed Daimler I'm afraid will have to go And it's time to replace my steam yacht There's no earthly excuse for going slow LUCY We're delighted to hear this progressive note MINA And we might feel the same way when we get the vote ALL Here comes the modern world The wonderful modern world Off to old fashioned thinking On with the new Hello to the modern world The breathtaking modern world There's nothing today that you can't do