Lauren Flans - Wine Country lyrics

[Verse 1] It's your birthday comin' up, the 6th of July – yeah Got a present so sweet, it'll make you cry – uh It's a treat for your lips, girl, gonna make your mouth water You been achin' for this; it's just what the doctor ordered [Verse 2] Climb into my ride and lean the seat way back We about to go to heaven; ain't nothin' you gotta pack – uh Close your eyes real tight; open your throat up wide ‘Cause soon I'm gonna fill you up inside [Verse 3] b**h, I'm takin' you to wine country To show you you're the only girl for me We gonna take the 101 ‘Cause the 5 is for f*ggots (Golden State f*ggots) [Verse 4] Gonna shack up at a B&B Ask them to recommend some wineries But we'll only patronize the ones That are family owned (Main Street, not Wall Street) [Verse 5] Ain't gonna spare no expense; this vineyard's all up on my dick – uh I'll drop a thousand on a Chateau Cheval Blanc if it's sick – yeah I'm-a make it rain; throwin' so much cash I'm scarin' ya But for real, if it rain, they got an indoor tasting area [Verse 6] Later on, s** you up by a lake right as the sun is setting Explore your whole body; not one part I'll be forgetting You're gonna feel just like a princess in a golden palace But no oral on this trip; girl, I gotta save my palette – uh [Verse 7] Mad respect for wine country Sometimes we'll have to pay a tasting fee They're in place to offset the cost Of maintaining the vineyard (Luxury isn't free) Break it down… [Breakdown] If we get peckish later on, we'll get a charcuterie plate – uh That's meat and cheese and olives; all that sh** that tastes great – yeah Don't look so surprised, girl My tastes are refined, girl [Verse 8] Just ‘cause I got a grill and I'm a street hood don't mean for a thrill that I can't eat good I didn't come to Napa just to tap ya fly, tanned booty – nah While we here, gonna sample wines both dry and fruity – ohhh Girl, you f**in' fine, on fire in dem jeans And if we're drunk on too much wine, we'll hire a limousine We'll go get some virgin olive oil; hump in it ‘til morning ‘Cause the fact that I know how to cla**ify tannins makes you so damn horny [Verse 9] That night while you're on top of me We'll review the finer points of viscosity I'll learn you up on malolactic fermentation – b**h, their ain't no stoppin' me And when my junk's in your mouth, you'll detect a note of wood The color and the clarity's beyond reproach ‘cause it's aged real good And when I bust a nut, make sure to swish it around Then exhale through your nose as you swallow it down – uh [Verse 10] That's how we roll in wine country I know some places we can drink for free My Dad went to school with a guy Who writes a wine-tasting column (It's called “Grape Expectations”) [Verse 11] We'll commune with nature every day I brought two copies of The Artist's Way Sunrise is the perfect time To do our Morning Pages (Stream of consciousness writing) Girl, get your sweet a** in my Maserati ‘Cause we about to kick it like Paul Giamatti