Last Week Tonight with John Oliver - 1,000,000 YouTube Subscribers lyrics

John: Hello there! I'm John Oliver and welcome to the YouTube page of Last Week Tonight, which recently pa**ed the 1 million subscriber mark. And I think of YouTube subscribers the same I think of pogs, I recently acquired quite a lot of them. (Audience laughs) John: and I'm not exactly sure what they do. (Audience continues to laugh) John: Um, and yes, yes - You heard me. I did say I recently acquired a lot of pogs that not mark is due for rebound. You watch. (Audience Laughs) John: But look. A million of anything is an awful lot. It's more than twice the population of Sacramento. Uh, and uh roughly half our nation's total number of Drop Kick Murphy's. (Audience laughs) John: And I'm excited to be a huge, huge millionaire because a million of anything is pretty impressive. A million is - it's like the Ryan Gosling of numbers. (Audience laughs) John: It's, it's fairly uncommon and uh, cool to be involve with. Plus the zeros kind of look like abs. (Audience laughs) John: Uh, a million is a lot of things. It's a "Man March". Um, it's a "Dollar Baby". Uh it's the number of little pieces of a largely fictionalized addiction memoir. (Audience laughs) John: And of course it's a song by John Legend that includes the line, "I'll kiss your neck and you'll know what comes next.... SEX." (Audience laughs) John: Yeah. We get it. We get it John Legend. We all know how fore play works. (Audience laughs) John: Although, frankly I think you're skipping a few steps. After the neck, it's the back, etc., etc. I don't - I don't remember (Audience laughs) John: But that's not my job. (Audience laughs and claps) John: That's not my job. I'm not an R&B singer. Yet. But it's coming. (Audience laughs) John: Anyway - it, it is nice to finally have as many subscribers as comment to say things like, "I hate John Oliver and his fake audience." (Audience laughs and claps) John: So, so thank you for subscribing fake audience. (Audience Boo's) John: No. No! Thank you for subscribing fake audience. Good bye! They're f***ing angry with you now. (Audience laughs)