Larry Heagle - Vasectomy Song lyrics

I went to see my doctor, I said Doc I can't pay my bills The rent's all spent, the truck's got a dent And I think I'm getting the chills From being forced to sleep alone You know this house just ain't no home I can't afford no more kids, my life's on the skids Cause my woman says leave me alone Unless you get a Vasectomy, ya gotta get a vasectomy Just one little male alteration Could save us from another altercation It's a Vasectomy, you gotta getta vasectomy What a vas deferens there could be The next thing I knew I was laying on a table With a light shining in my eyes They strapped my wrists, they strapped my ankles And they double-strapped my thighs The nurses were giggling and I was wiggling Most uncomfortably When the Doc walked in with a perverted grin And here's what he said to me" "It only hurts for a little while That's what they tell me, that's what they say" It's two weeks later and I feel a little better And my mind's much more at ease My rent's still spent, the truck's still got a dent But my woman is no longer a tease And even down at the office, there's a lot more interest in me The girls all grin when I walk in and brother they mean to please A man with a Vasectomy I got a vasectomy Like a Fun Kissed Orange, I been freed Cause it's all juice and there's no seed With a vasectomy You gotta get a vasectomy What a vas deferens It's beginning to make a little sense What a vas deferens there could .. (spoken) here is the part that I like most it takes the danger out of being close What a vas deferens there could (spoken) They snipped those s**ers right in two And clamped them off with super glue What a vas deferens there could be!