Lanier Burton - Close To The Sun lyrics

[Verse 1] Nocturnal mind, nocturnal soul Plus I got a locker for my strength to hold Who allowed me to take control? Try to go paycheck to bankrolls Got the raincheck from tainted foes Who got a long neck and stand on their toes To get a good check on my broken nose Like it's funny to see how it goes I lost all my will to go on and always stay strong for a minute Always the same sh**, isn't it? Never been in it, got my head in the linen Always wanted to be winning, but now I see, it was never meant to be If I don't have people who care, even lost all my friends and family Got too much ambition for a guy my rank Too big an ego to ever make bank Too much sadness in my hand to think Too much darkness in my heart to blink Too much lead on my tongue to ever kick another verse again Lay my mind on the ground, so you can use it as a doormat then I never wanna go back, but then I went and got back to the start of the runtrack Running all these circles in my life like a turtle, slow and pointless Every word dropping from my tongue turns back into mental poison Ich wünscht' ich könnte wieder denken wie normale Leute Hab mich zurückgezogen, Musik wär wichtiger Hab alles andre vergessen, das war nicht richtig, ja But it's enough, I'm burning up, I'm gonna go Cause noone told me that the demons in my mind could bleed into my soul [Verse 2] So I really couldn't end it all, so I didn't As I sat crying in the bathroom I spent hours puking over the rim Woke up again in the afternoon Stood up shakily, walked hastily I needed to talk with my family I needed to make amends desperately Try to shake the demons that were breaking me Didn't wanna go where the plants don't grow, where the sun won't shine, and I just don't know If I ever could make it out of the woods, leave my bullsh** behind, and see whats good for me I was burnt by ambition and fell straight to ashes But I will rise again, cause the Phoenix is ma**ive