Laid back beats - I Had lyrics

Verse 1: (Clarky) Cold air.. Bright lights Breath seems cold in the night sky Smoke blows through the wind; while lights shine And the clock can't clock if the time's right! Life flies by.. and thats that Write a new track then scrap that Couldn't give a f** if the word stops spinning When it drops in my hands ima catch that! Minds in a mess, thoughts shooting past Life is a test that's proving hard.. Can't wish for a wish on a shooting star If i can't pay rent then im shooting stars! Music.. bars? -Hearts all i listen to.. Im blinded by lights but the dark is a mission too Can't hide lies if the truth stays hidden too Cah ill only regret them things that i didn't do! Bright lights.. Cold air.. Breeze in my lungs like I'd smoked air.. I'm looking at the world 'I can GO there' So why am I stuck here no where? Cos i won't dare even think that? -So instead; I'll head into pitch black.. See a rolled spliff turn into a roach tip As i smoke it, and sink back Im just one person in one town In one country on one round; Planet in one universe.. In one dimension, and im hellbound? Well now? I guess thats a lesson.. Try look through life with that perception.. And you'll notice how life can change When you've grown to a man from adolesence.. Verse 2: (Clarky) Rain Drops.. Dark Clouds.. I can't seem to breathe but my heart pounds.. My hands just freeze while sparks bounce And the voice in my head lists 'unmarked vowes' Got my guard down! -Deep Sweats! Cah the day had to come where I meet them.. So how can I say that im ' In Too Deep' -when I ain't even seen 'deep' yet? Said I'm a 'Smart Guy' -Compliment? Or do they say that cah Im confident? See I HAD to be a man; Face the consequence; But my hearts too weak to show confidence! Plus consciousness is a mile away.. I'll frown tonight; Had to smile today! And I had to get through this in a silent way; Cah I said 'Goodbye' To the 'Viloent' Gage.. Dark Clouds.. Rain Drops.. I can't see a day where the pain stops.. My appetite's lost & My weights dropped; And my face looks thin like ive aged lots! Its that same cost; life's 'priceless' Same old sh**; New 'Crisis' See Im tryna stay strong and be righteous But I just feel so cold and lifeless! Got more people judging than on my side; They must not be in their right mind; Cah I've been through more sh**; In the last three months; Than most go through; In a Lifetime! This Life's MINE; You don't know sh**! If you KNEW how I felt then you'd notice? If I never changed? -I'd take both wrists! Cah I'm hurting now more than most kids! Verse 3: (Clarky) Loud Noise.. Quiet Mouth; My Body seems tight in this Violent House Them same old thoughts got silence out Cah I feel so trapped in these riot shouts Im crying out on the inside! On the outside.. Am I still me? I dont mean to offend.. But fu*k 9/11 Cah the 12 of the 9th just k**ed me! k**ed her too.. Its f**ed up! No 'accident' .. Just 'Dumb Luck' Them guys try ask if I'm 'alright'; -Like I'll reply with a 'Thumbs Up' You Dumb f**s! I gave up! Not just that but I gave Blood.. I GAINED love.. then came up wrong; So I guess this song's cah I MADE Blood.. Quiet Mouth.. A Loud Noise.. Its all been a dream for this proud boy.. I didn't give a f** for the rest of the world; Not if they didn't care for OUR Choice.. Now A Ploy's what it seems more like; Cah now NO ONE asks if I'm 'Alright' Now that I'm breaking down there's SILENCE Got my 'Tears In The Pillow' & I'm 'Up All Night' I feel so dead and I BET it lasts Cah I'm no good with forgetting past! I was promised closeness and feel pushed away.. So ALL I hope is we're getting past.. I guess all GOOD things must come to an end.. Although I held on.. Tryna hope for a bend.. And Now Nobody Knows How Much I Love You Nor How Much That You Had Meant..... Damn!