Kunt And The Gang - f**sticks lyrics

Now, my old Grandad had a word He used when things went wrong To introduce this word to you I put it in a song So everytime this word gets used his memory lives on I'm about to tell you what it is so you can sing along "f**sticks!" When Nan wouldn't let him touch her furry pie "f**sticks!" When he got some shrapnel lodged in his Jap's eye "f**sticks!" When a German sniper shot him in the co*k "f**sticks!" When he found a lump on his left bollock "f**sticks!" When me Nan died and she left him all alone "f**sticks!" When he let a bogus caller in his home "f**sticks!" When the first black people moved into his street "f**sticks!" When arthritis meant he couldn't beat his meat "f**sticks! Mother's c*nt, f**sticks!" So everytime I hear the word I start to reminisce I suddenly taste Werthers and get a faint whiff of piss So when someone annoys me or things get on my pip I think about the moany, racist old c*nt and really let it rip... "f**sticks!" When I miss an open goal in 5-a-side "f**sticks!" When I lost my hard-on's after Nan had died "f**sticks!" When the teacher's told me that I was no good "f**sticks!" When the old bill caught me wa*king in the wood "f**sticks!" When I'm having it off and I think of my old man "f**sticks!" When Little Kunt leaves skidmarks down the pan "f**sticks!" When some other f**er pushes in a queue "f**sticks!" When you get caught short and really need a poo "f**sticks!" When I came a-tumbling off my BMX "f**sticks!" When I split my frenulum while having s** "f**sticks!" When some smart-a** gives me my comeuppence "f**sticks!" When it's ages since I've seen a lady's tuppence "f**sticks!" When there's no clean pants so you have to wear your Mum's "f**sticks!" When your bird won't let you f** her up the bum "f**sticks!" When you feel all queer and you don't know what to say If you say "f**sticks!" "f**sticks!" "f**sticks!" It just makes everything OK "f**sticks! Mother's c*nt, f**sticks!"