King of the Dot - Bender vs Arcane (Title Match) lyrics

[Round 1: Bender] Little man take lessons This is the kind of performance that makes legends So consider this a great blessing You'll have your name mentioned in the same sentence So you battles got the replay value of a lottery ticket But there's a couple moments that we got to revisit One, you called The Saurus a statutory rapist Trying to win the crowd with some inflammatory statements You were only mad he'd ever had a shorty naked Who didn't ask him for a payment up in cash before he laced it This man is corny, tasteless, average, boring, basic Bland and formulaic, vastly short of greatness Stand before me shaking, shake the hand of you replacement Think you can ignore this blatant fact sadly you mistaken Besides, we all seen you trying to mack on those teenagers I bet you got a ripe young Catholic schoolgirl for a screensaver Picture him at the bus stop waiting for 'em after cla**es He plays it like a game of Blackjack... over 17, he pa**es Yo, y'all remember that Chilean mining accident months had transpired So they could lower down a rescue team hooked up to a bundle of wires Now you got jealous every time they pulled up a survivor Cause no one ever applauded when you dug out a minor/miner Now, I'm sorry to stoop to his level with all these pedophile jokes But we all saw that footage of you jerking a 17 year old And you tried to f** with Charron, why? Because of that dome line? It was nothing to go cry About grumbling the whole time, pick on someone your own size At least someone your own age I'm double your whole weight, but that's something you won't try After that you knew you weren't f**ing with Loe's rhymes You went digging dirt with hopes you'd discover a gold mine Desperate to go find just a couple of dope lines But found nothing til this puppet said f** it and told lies But that's just what the desperate do, destine to Reveal themselves as destitute That's the second right there I lost all respect for you Not even on some battle sh**, we all saw down to the depth of you So when you try to jump in the cut and get no shine or no love When we snub you in public you'll know why b**h made But he's like that with his boys, that's something we all know If you think he skimping on grams the way Cane comes/cums in a small dose/Dose And on behalf of battler rappers everywhere, f** off with your cheap merch No one wants to wear your busted three dollar T-shirt Mother f**er, I got nothing to lose I will piss on your ride like Detroit Velvet Smooth [Round 1: Arcane] I'ma need y'all to shut the f** up, all eyes front and center I'ma give y'all something to remember Witness your number one contender Get dismembered then discovered in a blender Y'all made me wait 4 months for this sh**? Dough boy could've got dummied in September But Bender been in school trying to finish up another semester That's why I laugh when Schooly D rapping 'bout criminal violence He's a full time student, he majors in Political Science So how you go an rap about horror When you dream of a planet without war? You ain't a fan of gore, Al, you a big fan of Al Gore That's why I keep the chain, cause I'm fresher I'll crack your frame under pressure, you wanna trade with an expert I'll leave you laying in a stretcher, it's 'Cane versus Bender Til I beat the sh** out the big guy with the beard Make it look like this was 'Cane versus Lesnar If y'all people thought I was gonna lose, let me snuff the misconception I ain't come here to battle, I came to teach this f**ing b**h a lesson I don't need to bust a Smith & Wesson to give his stomach indigestion If you suppose to be a Bender, I'm the f**ing intervention See talk is cheap, he went online 'bout how he gon' and try and body me The next day he sobered up and sent me a f**ing private apology I guess Bender's blowed the most on dope And wind up comatose and choke Well this Bender ends with a 'Cane like you overdosed on coke 'Cane straight bugging, so how you think you could ever insult me? With those irrelevant multi' when you ain't saying nothing? I ain't got the AK dumping But if this b**h getting close to me the blade may cut him Get him stitched like upholstery See I could do that style, but I got better bars I don't need to let the metal spark I swing blades on this sling blade and leave machete scars You ain't rookie of the season But since you like those similes and metaphors I'll beat 'em til this old p**y stop bleeding like menopause Maxed out credit cards, stuff him in a truck of rental cars With severed arms, seven large weapons charged like Bender bars And when duke gets all amped up and his voice starts getting louder "That's when Bender gets to sounding like a Monster Truck announcer!" [Round 2: Bender] Now basing on the tapes of your performances And the way that you're distorting sh** I'm surprised you haven't claimed I've jerked a horses dick While raping 30 orphans in some crazy German p**no flick Cause I can't even keep track of all the lies you've fabricated For a one dimensional rapper, that's one wild imagination That's why no artists respects him, I'm Mozart resurrected If you're in deep sh** the Coast Guard would need sonar to detect him Tell mister to hop in a go-cart and go start up the engine Or end up in the O.R., picking bone shards out your tendons Cold hearted, I think like a loan shark that's collecting You've got no bars for the most part and so far its pathetic See I can appreciate when a rapper like you goes hard in a session, but nine times out of ten That's just a hoe starved for attention like postpartum depression Now I think it might be a bad year for some of you divas Y'all sent this Ikea cashier to f** with the meanest See me cut'em, deconstruct'em into hundreds of pieces And put him in a box complete with the instructions in Swedish See he ain't even good on the Ave where he lives This little runt crack a smile see Cane get jacked for his sh** Drum sampler style, they take the hats and the kicks And if sons acting wild the chain gets snatched, just like this Sorry player, brought swords and sabers waging wars my nature 'Ganik just threw a fish to a k**er like a Orca trainer If I'm short on paper swarm on Cane just to he's just a source of paper, you're a raver You beating me is 'bout as likely as Spike Lee getting that mule and forty acres We could go another round, I'll give you extra time like poor behavior The organ taker, co-ordinate your fate when I storm the gates you can't afford to wager I'll lock jaws with a Florida gator who the f** is you? Your whole crew funny style like George and Kramer See I'm a cannibal rapper, northern Vordul Mega of course I'm greater Then this corny flake, got punchlines forming craters You're in mortal danger, bow down, pray to your Lord and Savior I ain't even wasting Gloria Gainer, George LaMajor, Norman Bates or Norman Mailer Maury Schafer, and the foreign Vega or the real Noriega swarming at the hornets lair My name got more buzz then Cane, you must be buzzed on 'caine To think you nice, you should have tucked that chain Someone explain to stupid you can't test a f**ing genius With a mushroom cloud for a brain and a Tesla coil for a double helix Now he's panicked that I wrote this, braggadocios magnum opus And you'll notice that he's stoic as this moment fast approaches But that's all an act, balderdash, he knows his chance is hopeless That titles on as respected as the mother f**ing man that holds it! Straight bars, no bullsh**! Let's go! [Round 2: Arcane] I know I got haters And now I know you were gonna say I make up fake sh** But nah that ain't true, it's only twice I got bad information Bender's just mad cause He's been working on an album his whole life called "Bad Information" You mad cause the one time I drop bad information, I still made 'em believe When Bender drop bad information, he gave 'em away for free Cause it's a 4 track CD-R that came in a paper sleeve And for those of y'all who don't know Some bullsh** happened when Bender battled Scott Free Question, if the judges at the venue voted against you How'd you body in three? Cause Loe Pesci overruled the decision Made it what he thought it should be That's why that video featured some special guests at the end that were not in your league Straight up, ya boy Pesci tried to tamper with the evidence I already made an example of ya president Now you think his henchman can handle me? I'm dismantling his penmanship Cause lyrically you get buried with gunshots When I battle I don't need my president to jump in and pull a Harry from Jumpoff That Presidential cosign won't help you get a loan at the bank f*ggot Not when you look like Tank Abbott with a f**ing crank habit If you so intelligent, why you always making irrelevant threats? Rocking that huge beard to cover his chin Cause it looks like a f**ing pelican's neck I don't know if that hobo swagger comes from some weird type of genenome But I swear I seen this dude manicure that mange beard with a flea comb Always wiping his filthy sleeves with his snot nose You smell like the cheese off a nacho Bender, you're such a dirty hippy you probably got fleas in your ponchos And this motherf**er, it's true, he's actually from the 905 And I got homie that knows you from St. Catherine's He told me you were just only that lonely overweight fat kid My homie seen you everyday back then He told me you were the quiet type, no balls You didn't pipe no broads or incite no brawls You just loitered in the husky section at White Oaks Mall That's true, he told me your best friend back then Was homie named Jordan Cotler, you remember Jordan Cotler? That dude was sorta your partner He used to help you write your sh** and make it morbid and darker It's too bad you never said goodbye before your departure When you stole your homie's sh** Went to the bus station and boarded a charter Fast forward to Ottawa, don't act like you don't remember When I heard that sh** it kinda reminded me of Jonathan Bender See Jonathan Bender was a Toronto draft pick That never played one game for the Raptors He got traded for Davis and after that his game just stayed stagnant So just remember the name Bender will never hang from these damn rafters Cause Toronto already skated on Bender Like Bender skated on his friends in St. Catherines [Round 3: Bender] My best friend was Jordan Cutler and that sh** is right I'll give you his f**ing phone number he has never rapped in his life Listen... Now I ain't write no jokes about your sister or mother because that's sick But I might just tell that true story bout you s**ing your dad's dick Now I am not 120 pounds, nor am I seventeen With that in consideration, did you still wanna mess with me? Now choose your weaponry removing useless goofs like you's my specialty I'm the type to ruin loops in studio booths extensively You're the type to smuggle in a couple Cuban refugees And refuse to leaft your room for several weeks While you fuse yourself between them in a human-centipede From deep space I paint scenes that replay visually Each page conjures nightmare and dream scape imagery You named your CD 'Arcane', is this pea-brain kidding me? Right there's a window into your creativity I'm undefeated, I know a record ain't worth sh** There's no excuse for your album that record that ain't worth sh** Twelve tracks about hustling, you know what the science is They just talk about salesman/sales man, I tell you no one is buying it Now you wanna play hardball with me I study Starkology, punk your Clark Wallabys Go collabo' with Vado still won't be large on the streets You ain't no hard rock O.G. you probably narc on your team Then when you start copping plea's I hope they frame you for armed robbery A narcotic siege and a car-bombing spree Then lock you in a cell with Mark 'Chopper' Read And some Russian mafioso's with stars on their knees And have the guards toss the keys Nah I'm just kiddin I wouldn't really wish prison on him I'm just sh**ting on him Just cause every time he tries to play the bully my skin is crawling Cause he do f** all against someone bigger See Knamelis and grave robber I'm a pit bull, by the end of this round you be tryin to put a chain on me b**h rappers run for they lives when they see my approach Cause when it comes to these lines I'm in a league of my own But my career just hit a cold snap I went from 24 to this absolute zero And now some bums about to die after being exposed You paid the judges off to beat that dude Corey, true story I had your woman playing House like Hugh Laurie, true story See that's what you do, spin some yarns pull the wool to mask the fact you're too boring But no ones buying that bullsh** anymore, true story! [Round 3: Arcane] Your diet plan should include less cookie dough and more salad If you 6-0 and this battle fit to blow torch your average f** a home court advantage, I'll put a bulls eye on him Have his sh** spilling out the sides like a pull pork sandwich See if I aim and squeeze the fif', Bender's brains will leave his wig And I found you a graveyard with the perfect place for me to dig But your frame's so big and thick, I bet you ain't gon' ever fit You're beyond the Biggest Loser You should be on a show called "The Lamest Piece Of sh**" See when I rock beats on stage, I shut that sh** down When Bender goes to all you can eat buffets, he shuts that sh** down Man, I got a my mind on my money and my money on my mind Bender got his mind on his tummy and he's hungry all the time So the way your little legs hold all of that weight defies physics You should try fitness, no wonder you ain't pulling fly b**hes If I was stuck in a plane beside this fat smelly f** for five minutes That's the only time I'd ever be concerned with flight distance So if anybody said that Bender was a beast or a monster They must've seen him eating a lobster with bacon grease on his pasta He's in a locker room trying to catch a seat in the sauna With his mixtape full of remix beats by Rihanna I bet you'd s** the peach out a cobbler You been obese since a toddler How the f** did this whale wash up on a beach in Toronto? And why you name yourself after a cartoon robot, fatty? A dude with tits that come with a fake p**y, post op tranny Not to mention you a f**ing peace loving hippy And y'all think B's f**ing with me? I ain't handing over the keys to my city to a dude with D cups for titties I feel bad you spent four months in that rehearse nonsense But you'd only beat me if this was a wet T-Shirt contest Muhf**a, these titties hang like a chandelier You need a man brazier Look like somebody tried to disguise a Panda bear in flannel gear Yo, the champ is here So after I end your damn career, go get a can of beer And use that giant Santa beard to soak up all your manly tears See ever since you was a kid you was a sloppy fat little f** Lucky for him he had a soccer mom and a hockey dad, giddy up But every time they tried to put you in Pilate's cla** you give it up So I'ma put this fatty in a double wide body bag Zip him up!