King of the Dot - The Saurus vs Chedda Cheese lyrics

[Round 1: Chedda Cheese] Back in 1965, The Saurus was the meanest with the tongue Type of superstar he never could've dreamed that he'd become The greatest battler in the world, a genius with the puns Okay, the only battler in the world, but still he was number one See I grew up watching you, a name they remembered Thinking if he's the best then I knew I could break the record So I stepped my sk**s up, built up and I got my game together Took what it took to be the greatest ever and I made it better Now here we are today, so this is what it is Used to be an innovator in the city that he lives Now he's got this new style, but it really isn't his Outdated gun bars, and sh** he never did Like some sort of weird uncle trying to fit in with the kids He'll be like, "In this hippity hop battle, you won't even get around My bullets do the dosey doe, that means you're 'bout to get a round So all you little whipper snappers better simmer down I've got the tooley in my trousers, it goes blicky blicka blow." Man, it's safe to say you went south What he used to dish out compared to what he spits now I'm thinking that I missed out Not enough drive left in him to make this sh** count Too old to give a 100%, that's a senior's discount Washed up and boring, what I speak is more contagious The more time that pa**es in the scene the more it changes So considering the rate at which Peter Morris ages No wonder we see The Saurus in the prehistoric ages And anyone who thinks you're still relevant, you've got 'em fooled Known for what he's done in the past, but now you're not as cool, just living off your legacy Exploiting every molecule Funny that a dinosaur is running off of fossil fuels And they say "respect your elders", guess I've been doing something wrong Kick your cane out from under you and walk across your mother's lawn Show up at the nursing home you're living at with nothing on And co*k block you from every granny that you crushing on Yeah! And that's it [Round 1: The Saurus] 15 years in this scene and I've learned two things in life are a certainty One, no living being's time is eternity And two, I'll never battle Math Hoffa But I got three rounds I wrote for him that apply to you perfectly Stick a fork in it, we're in the fortune but for him it isn't fortunate One hit, have him stiff as a corpse, the rigor mortis hit Before this kid was born I built this scene on some brick and mortar sh** And that ain't even going out on a limb like a Christmas ornament You came here just to escape from the cold, harsh climate But ah, ran into a stone wall cause you're so far sighted But we can close our eyelids and see you've never wrote bars like Your pen's shaky, no arthritis That's why you've ducked me so hard, spent so long hiding I'ma show y'all why I finally broke our silence They tried to book this battle four times, don't start lying So why am I just meeting Cheese like a low carb diet? Jesus Christ I'm glad y'all finally get to see three rounds from me tonight Spark an a** when I come back, I told him, "Only when that Cheese round." I'm feasting, you gon' stand here and take it like free advice You may owe (mayo) Peter (pita) bread after we beefing, Chedda's being sliced It's easy, sh** ain't always what it seems lately The greatest and I keep training the underground game like Team Gracie If you think that he takes me tonight, you free basing This gon' be easy as finding a needle in a haystack...on East Hastings! So keep training, you'll never win the title he's chasing Like your shot with Arcane, all that whine/wine and cheese tasting This as close as you'll get to the legends and the OGs Chedda can be top ten but you'll never be the G.O.A.T. Cheese [Round 2: Chedda Cheese] They say my rounds are too short cause I stick to the time limits But I hate it when these rap guys ramble for nine minutes Just a bunch of filler, can't even vibe with it Forget a time limit, if it's wack then why spit it? Watching battles like, "Man, my free time got a time limit If it's not your best work, quit wasting my time with it." And I'm glad your girlfriend is watching this at home cause I got something to mention Like her unhealthy obsession with all that public affection Every hour on my time line another confession So this round goes out to her since she loves the attention Now look, first of all, your little Facebook romance is awful and gross Had to rethink my life and unfollow you both Plus she's painted over 40 different battle rappers, sounds awkward but it's true That's a lot of time spent staring at a lot of different dudes Man no wonder she tells you she got no room for his spouse Keeps a different creepy painting in every room of her house She's got Rone by the fireplace, Daylyt by the ledge Carter in the kitchen, next to Caustic and Cortez T-Rex in the pantry, Solomon in the shed Chedda Cheese in a frame on the ceiling above your bed She's seeing Chedda on the side, stacking the cream up Should've listened to Kanye, get you a pre-nup She wasn't eating Cheetos, Cheesies, or Cheese Puffs When you caught her orange handed covered in Cheese dust Pretty much what I'm saying is, whoo whoo whoo I took your broad to Atlanta I showed up in flannel pajamas Had some apricots and bananas While watching some Hannah Montana Whoo whoo whoo [Round 2: The Saurus] I can't believe that last line is something you spat at the camera You just admitted to 300 people that you watch Hannah Montana Look, now he's declined this battle four times Do y'all wanna know what the excuse is? (What?) Every time they've tried to book it he says he's "focusing on music." Oh wait, you mean making parodies of other people's old sh** as your new sh** And putting nerdy concepts over songs you've stolen cause you're stupid I should've given you an education sooner You know what rhymes with "self depreciating humor"? (What?) It'll never make you cooler You bit your style from Weird Al which don't quite threaten me But it must be a Lonely Island having no identity I bet that he's self destructive, insecure But never felt reluctant to reflect another person's image Cause in his own he felt disgusted But if you think his sh**'s creative and wonder how the hell he does it Simple, Chedda's cut from the mold of someone else's substance Just once, write a song that's yours Instead of trying to churn a profit first How dare he, Chedda's milking that product for all it's worth If you were a cop, your code name would be "Copy That" They only gave you that Carter match cause he heard that you're a copy cat You're a knock off of a knock off, stop it right this instant You beat the same dead horse and swear to God this time it's different But with every stolen song the concept got recycled with it That's why your videos all get taken down for copyright infringement This is not old news, you need to stop those moves Take the auto tune off of all those tunes Now it's true those are some cold words but he won't learn if it don't hurt him Listen Bo Burnham, do some soul searching It's time to become your own person Cause once you finally be yourself, you'll be completely set free But while you're stuck trying to be someone else You'll always lose to someone else who's trying to be the next me [Round 3: Chedda Cheese] When I tell you that I'm concerned for your health, I don't say that sh** loosely Cause it's not even that hot and you are sweating profusely You 'bout to buckle under pressure Even your belt buckle 'bout to buckle under pressure Got a gut like Uncle Fester Gambling and food addiction, that's what he's been coping with Instead of counting cards start counting carbs, I thought I told you this Grieving and hopelessness, he sees that it's over with Cause the fat blob can't stop eating the poker chips My future looking brighter than I planned Get in line and get a tan You've been going downhill too much pride to give a damn I'll be kicking it with Puffy, riding in the Lamb' You'll be living in the country, riding on a lamb Aw man, so I checked our stats online cause I was wondering where we fit I've got 19 battles you've got 136 That's seven times more battles, you clearly haven't grown You should be seven times better off of experience alone Yet somehow I've caught up to you See I caught him slipping, me I'm on a mission, listen You can't see, I got a vision See the contradiction? I would eat the competition Like you, versus me...in an eating competition So you can rap about cashing out G's til your bank accounts freeze Cause I'll be chilling at my mom's house rapping 'bout cheese Cause when I first started, I was literally the worst rapper ever Ten years later and I'm a first cla** contender So in ten years from now, I'll be that much better Selling out shows cause my sh**'s just clever Worldwide tours, six hit records And your girl backstage screaming, "Ch-Ch-Chedda!" [Round 3: The Saurus] I'd beat you in any eating competition that I ever could try Just like this battle tonight when I ate Cheddar alive You better put that money where your mouth is if you talking Cheese Or I'll find out where you vacation...show up at your cottage Cheese Look, it seems like something's off lately Bad poutine, it never occurred to Cheese that it wasn't all gravy Call me crazy, I could beat Chedda with my eye's closed Straight degenerate, I'll bet everything that I own Except, you were alive when you stepped into this time zone Now you're just an extra bag for Sketch to check before his flight home The guy's known as Chedda Cheese but his name is Shay Rogers That's way softer You're what would come out if a bully shoved Charron and Kid Twist in the same locker Now, I don't know if you're using Weight Watchers But you look malnourished dawg, don't wait longer Get in touch with your AIDS doctor Roger that, watch your back, be careful Roger This a time paradox vers' a tie and a pair of Dockers I don't think your life's worth what I'm prepared to offer Cannon for an arm, aiming at Cheese head when I'm airing/Aaron Rogers Y'all wanna know what rhymes with "Mr. Rogers"? (What?) Into toddlers With your skinny shriveled posture you could get a World Vision sponsor I've been a monster If I had to listen to him a minute longer I'd stick him in such a perfect cast this Birdman could win an Oscar