Key & Peele - Pirate Chantey lyrics

[Verse 1: Peele] I once met a la** so fine, She was drunk on barley wine I'd been to sea for months of three I knew I could make her mine And the la** was past consent So it was off with her we went And we threw her in bed and rested her head And we left, 'cause that's what gentlemen do. [Chorus: All] A woman has a right to a drink or two Without worrying about what you will do We say "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe" 'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo [Verse 2: Key] There once was a girl from Leeds Who I heard was good on her knees So I docked my ship for an overnight trip To take care of all of my deeds She had piles of tales to tell And my ma** began to swell So I riled her down and raised her down And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so [Chorus: All] Always take care of your lady fair 'Cause they deserve as much attention down there We say "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe" 'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo [Verse 3: Pirate #1] I once had a woman so fair Whose womb contained my heir With a son by my side, the seas we'd ride The child she would bear But my girl, she was no fool She was working her way through school So I did support when she chose to abort Because it's her body and therefore her choice [Chorus: All] No, we don't say "booty" 'less we're talking 'bout gold We don't look at chests 'less it's treasure holds With a hat and a feather and a cutla** on her hip We will never say "she" when we're talking 'bout a ship We don't say "b**h" and we don't say "who*e" 'Cause that language leads to things like body dysmorphoria [Verse 4: Pirate #2] There was a lady with a golden eye And the doctor said she would die So she emptied her purse to lift the curse And prayed to stay alive She awoke the very next day Hand in her grave she lay But the scariest part of the story from the start Is I bet you a**ume the doctor was a man [Pirate #2 throws knife at man] (crowd gasps, Pirate #2 gasps) I am so s- [Motions his arms] Da-da-da-da-da-da [Chorus: All] Women are doctors too And for a fraction of the dubloons We say "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe" 'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo [Verse 5: Pirate #3] There was a s*ut with tits to here And an a** that (gunshot) [Pirate #3 falls to the ground] [Camera pans up to the shooter, Pirate #4, who is female] [The men turn and salute; Pirate #4 descends on a rope] (dramatic music plays) [Pirate #4 studies the men; the men are shaking with fear] [Pirate #4 slams her boot on the ground] [Chorus: Pirate #4 and All] 'Cause it's "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe" 'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo! [Outro] (cheers; gla** breaking)