Kevin Smith - An Evening with Kevin Smith - Prince lyrics

[Student] Just real quick. You haven't touched on it at all, and I don't know how many people really know about it. I know in the middle of June you were up in Minneapolis filming a documentary for Prince that as far as I've heard, as far as I've heard is never even gonna see the light of day. And I just wanted to know if you'd shed a little light on that? [Kevin Smith] We were trying to get a Prince song for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back for the scene where Shannon Elizabeth's character comes into the movie's restaurant. We were trying to get Prince's "The Most Beautiful Girl In the World", but we couldn't get any response back from him. Then one day I got a call at the office. And they said, "Prince's office called. He wants to speak to you." And I said, "Holy sh**! f**ing Pr--His Royal Badness?" 'Cause I'm a Prince fan. So I said, "I'm gonna call him back." You know? 'Cause I get a little starstruck sometimes. So I call him up and they answer, and they're like: "Yeah, Prince isn't available right now, but he does want to speak to you so sit by the phone and we'll call you back." So I'm like, "All right." Ring. And I wait and I wait and I wait. About 15, 20 minutes later somebody calls. And they're like, "Is Kevin there?" I said, "This is he." "Kevin, hi. I'm calling from Prince's office. Prince is gonna be calling you in 25 minutes." I said, "Awesome. All right, bye." 25 minutes later, the f**ing phone rings again. "Is Kevin there?" I said, "This is Kevin". "This is Trevor in Prince's office. Prince will be calling you in 19 minutes." And I said, "This is genius." Because, like, it sounds like they have sh** well-scheduled. "19 minutes". But then again, this is the third time he called. So I said, "Hey, man, just a question: Like, when I talk to the guy can I--? Do you call him Prince? What do you--? Do I call him Artist? What do you, you know, what do you call him? Jack?" And he said, "He's back to Prince. You can call him Prince." And I said, "Oh, awesome!" So, I sit around, I get another phone call, and they're like: "Prince wants to call you tonight at your home. Can we have your home phone number?" I said, "Oh God, yeah!" So I give him the home phone number. And I go home and I'm like: "Prince is calling! Everybody get away from the phone!" You know? Prince is gonna be calling. And the kid wants to play, I'm like, "Go away, Prince is calling." So I wait and wait and then the phone rings and then I get the-- it's Trevor again. He's just like, "Prince is gonna be calling in five minutes." I was like, "I am so ready for this call." Phone rings again and I hear his f**ing voice. And he's just like, "Kevin?" And I said, "Prince?" Because that's his name. And-- and he said, "How you doing?" I said, "I'm excellent. How are you?" He said, "Very good. Very good." I said, "Look, I just want to tell you I'm a huge fan." And he goes, "Likewise." I said, "Really?" He said, "Oh, yeah. Particularly Dogma." And he's like, "Would you like to do something together?" And I said, "Yeah, what do you want to do?" 'Cause I'm thinking, like, he wants to do a musical. But it's-- it's not the musical that he wants to do, necessarily. He starts talking about Dogma. And he's just like, "I really enjoyed Dogma. I thought it was incredible. I thought the message was great." And went on at great lengths about it. And I'm sittin' there listening to him talk about it and it's starting not to sound like the movie I made. Like, a little bit. Like, he's got, like, the character names down and sh**. But then there's things that he's talking about that I'm like, "Well, I didn't-- I didn't say that in the movie, did I?" You know, like, "Hold on. I'm going to rewind the movie." And he starts talking more and more about spirituality, religion, faith. And it becomes very apparent over the course of a half-hour that Prince is way into Jesus. Like, really into Jesus. And if you've listened to his music, you know, he's always had one foot in the corporeal, one foot in the spiritual. You know, he sings about Darling Nikki, but he also sings about God. But it felt like the pendulum swung far away from nookie right into the Son of God. And because I-- You know, I'm-- I'm-- I thought to thinking I could talk smack to this dude, but he doesn't want to hear from language. Like, at one point he says to me: "I'll put you an example," he says. 'Cause he's sitting there ministering to me at a certain point. I'm like, "Holy sh**! This dude's preachin'!" But I'm not going to say anything 'cause it's Prince. So he's like, "I'll give you an example." He's goin', "You make movies with cursing in them." I said, "Yeah." And he said, "Can you make a movie without cursing in it?" I said, "Yeah, I guess. But why bother?" And he said, "Do you understand that cursing offends some people? Vulgarity offends people." I said, "Yeah." And he goes, "Do you mean to offend people?" I said, "No, no." And he's, like, "But you still do it anyway?" And I said, "Yeah." He's going, "Okay, we're gonna put you over here." And I was, like, "Where?" And I, you know, I can't see him, but I think he went like this: [Kevin motions with his hand to his right] And I really want to know what "over here" is, but he doesn't explain it. And he's-- he gets very cryptic like that. He talks about sh** like-- he's like, "Kevin, if-- if a big snake gives birth to a little snake what is that little snake gonna grow up to be?" And I was like, "A big snake?" And he's like, "Right. And that snake gives birth to a little snake. What's that snake gonna grow up to be?" And I said, "Big snake." He said, "Exactly, you gotta know who your father is." And I'm like-- like I don't know what that f**ing means. So I'm like, "I hear you. I hear you." But he's like, "So, you wanna do this?" And I was like, "Yeah, absolutely! What are we--? What are we doing?" And he said, "I have this thing comin' up called 'the Celebration' where I'm gonna debut my new album for a bunch of fans. They come to Paisley Park, we have the-- a weeklong event." And he's like, "And-- And then we're gonna have listening parties where people are gonna hear the album. And we're just gonna have a good time. I'm-- I want to make a movie that we can bring to the Cannes Film Festival." And I was like, "Really?" And he was like, "Yeah. Yeah." So I'm thinking like, "Kind of like a concert film?", I'm saying. He's like, "Kind of like a concert film. But I want to do bold things. Like, I wanna put up the words 'Jesus Christ is the son of God' on screen and let them deal with it." And I'm like, "Well, I already made that movie, kind of." But I didn't say that because it's Prince. So-- so I was like, "Yeah, man, that's f**in' bold!" And he's goin', "What did I say about cursing?" I was like, "I got ya. I got ya." So he said, "You free-- you free to come out and do this in June?" I said, "Yeah, absolutely." So he said, "I'll call you back and let you know when we're gonna do it." So I get off the phone with him and I was like, "Oh f**ing sh**, that's f**ing great!" I go in and tell everyone about it. And Mosier goes, "Did you ask about the song for the movie?" And I was like, "No, f**, I forgot!" I was like, "What do-- what's the protocol? Can I call him again? Should I just call him? I got his home phone number. I mean, aren't we kinda friends at this point?" And he said, "Yeah, you might wanna find out if we can use the song." And so I call him the next day and I was just like, "Hey, Prince, it's Kevin. Listen, we talked a lot the other night and it was great and I look forward to this thing we're gonna do but we're making this movie now Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and it has the dudes who were in Dogma, remember? Those characters. I needed to use your song 'The Most Beautiful Girl in the World'. I love the song. I want to put it in this one scene in the movie." And he goes, "No." I said, "No?" And he's goin',"Yeah, I'm gonna have to pa** on that." He's like, " You can use the Time song," which he owns the publishing for. He's like, "You can use the Time song, but I'm gonna take a pa** on the other one." And I said, "All right. Bye." You know? I was like, "That's so f**ing weird. The dude called me up and said, 'Come out and shoot a documentary for me'. And I'm like, 'Yeah!' And then I call him and be like, 'Can I have one of your songs?' And he's like, 'No!'" And I was like, "I thought people in the business gave each other things." But I don't say anything because it's Prince. So-- so rolls around time to go up there and sh** and I'm in the midst of editing the movie and puttin' it together and-- and we're gettin' in crunch time. And-- and so many things are goin' on, the last thing in the world I should do is-- is leave and go to Paisley Park, go to Minnesota for a week. But I'm like, "f** it. Once in a lifetime chance. Who knows what'll come of it? It's f**ing Prince, I gotta go." So, I grab the wife, jump on the plane, we go to Minnesota, I get out there, go to Paisley Park, and I meet with his producer, this great woman named Stephanie. And Stephanie's like, "He's-- right now he's on stage talking to a bunch of people. I'm gonna bring you in there, and then we'll talk to him. He's gonna tell you what he wants to do." I was like, "Awesome." So, I go in there and he's sittin' on the stage and he's very small. You know, he looks big on stage, but he's very very small. But he's decked out. He's f**in' Prince. He's wearing clothes that look like somebody just sewed them two minutes ago. Like an outfit, like he's in a play, like he's doing Shakespeare. And not like nice clothes like this. [Kevin brings attention to his hoodie] And-- And he's in heels, of course. Which I-- the first thing that struck me, I'm like, "He's in heels. It's casual time and he's in heels. That's interesting." So, I always thought, like, maybe back around the house, he was wearing kicks. You know, like, Vans or something. So, he comes down, we start talking. He starts telling me about, like, his beefs with the music industry. Like he-- and-- and just, like, you can't follow him, he's goin' all over the place, jumping topic to topic. And I'm like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I don't know what he's saying. What? Yes." And he's talking, at one point, he's just like, "You know, anybody can take a song and record it. Anybody can take 'Purple Rain' and record it." And I was like, "Really?" He's like, "Yeah. That's what happened to Chaka Khan." He's like, "Whitney Houston recorded, 'I'm Every Woman'. Chaka didn't want that. Chaka mad." I'm like, "Chaka mad?" He's like, "Chaka real mad." And I'm sittin' there tryin' to figure out what exactly it is I'm supposed to do about Chaka being mad. And he's like, "So, basically what I want you to shoot is people's reaction to the album. We're gonna let them listen to it and I want you to have them talk about it. And then I want to talk about religion and lead that into-- into race and lead it into the music biz and radio. And I-- basically at the end of the week, I want to change the world." And I'm like, " I-- I'm in the middle of making a dick-and-fart-joke movie, man. I'm not prepared to change my underwear, let alone the world. I-- I don't think I can-- I don't-- I-- I don't-- All right." So he's like, "All right, so then I'll see you tomorrow." And he takes off. And I-- I look at Stephanie, and I was like, "Can we go outside?" And she's like, "Yeah." I take her outside, I was like, " I don't fu--! I can't f**ing do this! I don't--! I don't know what he wants! I can't change the world. I'm not a documentarian. He wants to shoot a documentary. I'm-- I-- Did you ever see the movies I make? I don't make documentaries. And documentaries are made by people who come up with the idea and then they follow it through and-- and see it through themselves and shoot it themselves and they're interviewing people from behind the camera because it's something that's personal to them. It's pa**ionate. And he's obviously very personal and pa**ionate about these issues. But I-- I-- I'm not. I mean, I don't fu-- Chaka mad! I'm sorry, but I--there's nothing I can-- I can do about that." And she's just like, "Alright, calm down, calm down." And she's like, "What can you do?" And I was like, " I mean if Prince wants to make a movie about a couple guys hangin' around a mall, like I'm your f**in' guy. But I can't make a documentary." And she's like, "OK, but he really wants you to do it." And I was just like, "I-- I-- I don't understand. I-- I-- I'm not really cut out for this kind of thing. And why can't you explain it to him that I--? You know, just go in there and tell him. I'll just leave. I'll go back to Los Angeles and tell him: 'No harm, no foul.' And-- And you explain that I can't do this." And she's like, "Kevin, let me explain something to you about Prince. I've been working with Prince for many years now, and I can't go in there and tell him that you can't shoot this documentary." And I'm like, "W-- Why?" And she's like, "Because Prince doesn't comprehend things the way you and I do." And I was like, "Wh-- What do you mean?" And she was just like, "Well, Prince has been living in Prince World for quite some time now." She's like, "So Prince will come to us periodically and say things like: 'It's three in the morning in Minnesota. I really need a camel. Go get it.' And then we try to explain to Prince, like: 'Prince, it's three o' clock in the morning in Minnesota, it's January and you want a camel. That is not physically or psychologically possible.' And Prince says, 'Why?' " And she's like-- I'm like, "What is he, being an a**hole?" And she's like, "No, he's not malicious when he does it. He just doesn't understand why he can't get exactly what he wants. He doesn't understand why someone can't process a simple request like a camel at three in the morning in Minnesota." I was like, "Well, you know what? That's not my problem." I was like, "I-- I-- I can't do what he wants me to do. I'm freaked out here. I don't know what to do." And she's like, "Well why don't you-- You know what? You'd-- You'd be doing me a huge favor if you go tell him that." And I was like, "All right, I'll f-- I'll f-- I'll tell him. f** it! I'll-- You know, somebody's gotta deal with him straight. I'll go in there and I'll tell him. He'll understand." So I go in there and-- and he's back up on stage and then he comes back down. And he's like, "What's the matter?" And I was like, "The, uh-- How do you want to shoot this thing?" And he's like, "Whatever you want. However you want to shoot it." And I was like, "All right, look. I-- I don't know if I can shoot this thing. I-- I think since it's kind of a documentary, it should come from you, and I-- I-- I'd be kind of a-- a third wheel. You know, it's like, you've got the crew and you have the idea and I'd basically be there, what, to do what? Like there's really nothing for me to do." And he's like, "Well, I need you to be my representation 'cause I'll be busy all week. So you have to go and communicate my message." And I'm like, "Look, if you want me to communicate 'Let's go crazy. Let's get nuts. Like, let's slip on a purple banana till they put us in the-- in the truck.' I can do that. I've listened to that album a lot. If you want me to go in there and start talking about Jesus, I did that and I got a lot of d**h threats out of it. So I'm not too keen to-- to go in there and-- and do it." And he's like, "You wa-- You know what? You'll do a great job. I have faith in you." Walks away. And I'm like, "Oh, my God. I'm making a documentary. I don't f**ing know how to make a docume-- I've never made a documentary." So I go in the next day, and we're shooting in the atrium. And everybody sits down and sh**. They're-- They're listening to these albums in other rooms in Paisley Park. And they bring them into this room called the Atrium with the high ceilings, and there's a big cage with doves in it. And the whole time you're sittin' there listening to what it sounds like when the f**in' doves cry. 'Cause they won't shut up. So-- So people start coming into the room, and I'm standing there with two guys with cameras and their Nagra equipment. And people start coming into the room. And I would say about 20% of them, as they walk in, are like: "It's Silent Bob." You know, like I was the last person they expected to see there. You know, like, "What the f** is Silent Bob doing here? Does-- Is he a fan? Does he-- Why is he stan-- What's with the cameras? What's going on?" And I'm like, "Look, I don't even know what's going on!" So I sit 'em down, and I'm like, "Look, we're gonna talk about what you've just heard." And I don't introduce myself. I'm not like: "Hi, I'm Kevin Smith. I made a few movies." I'm just like, "Hi, we're gonna talk about what you just listened to and see where the topic takes us." And so we start talking. And everybody wants to talk about religion, because that's what the album's about. It's a real theme piece. It's kind of a-- one story throughout the whole album. Heavily steeped in faith and spirituality. So people start getting up in arms. You know, some people were like, "I think it's his best work to date. I think it's like-- all the promise he showed on Loves**y. And you know it's just the next level for Prince. Like I love all the three-minute, four-minute pop hits, but this is where he's going. This is tremendous." And then I've got other people on the side going, "Look, we all know Prince is a Jehovah's Witness." And I'm sitting there going, "Pri-- Prince is a Jehovah's Witness? Since when? Now? Because he didn't try to sell me a Watchtower once." So he's going, "And I just wanna-- I printed up a bunch of facts from the Internet about Jehovah's Witness that I think Prince should read because it's very important stuff and he should know that he's being bilked and blah blah blah blah blah." And I'm like, "All right, we'll-- we'll address that. Let's-- What else is everyone thinking?" I'm trying to lead the discussion to where Prince wanted to go, but everyone wants to talk about religion and what they've heard on the album. And some people are incensed because it's a very literal translation of the Bible, which means that the order of things is God, man, women, children, animals. So there of course-- there were women in the audience, were like, "I don't go in for this 'man, woman' sh**. You know like I don't want to be led by any man blah blah blah." And I'm sittin' there tryin' to keep the fires from really erupting. Somebody comes up behind me and says-- whispers in my ear, "Prince wants you to stop talking about religion." And I'm like, "Keep talking, keep talking. What do you mean Prince wants me to stop talking about religion? Why a-- That's what they want to talk about. It's r-- Where is he?" They're like, "He's not here." And I was like, "Well, how the hell does Prince know I'm talking about religion?" And she's like, "He'd just-- He'd just-- He'd prefer if you stop. He knows." And I'm like, "Well, how am I sup-- What am I just gonna jump to another topic? Be like, 'Hey, who likes pie?' you know, instead of-- They just listened to an album about religion. That's what they wanna f**in' talk about. I mean I-- I-- I don't know what to tell you. I mean if he-- if he wants it to not be about-- You know if he wants it to be something else, maybe he should get his a** down here and do something, you know what I'm saying?" And she's like, "All right, all right. I just told you." And so the other pers-- people are talking, and I'm looking around the Atrium while they're speaking. There's a sign in front of the kitchen in the Atrium that says: "The Atrium: redone in nineteen blah blah blah". And then there's a piece of factoid-- a factoid about the Atrium that says: "Like every room in the building, this room is wired for sound so Prince can record anywhere he likes." Which essentially means that if Prince is sittin' in the sh**ter and he wants to write "Raspberry Beret" he can do it and record it while taking a sh** without ever leaving the room. Every room in the place is wired for sound. So I'm reading that going, "That's not interesting-- [pauses] Like, no wonder the motherf**er heard me! Every room is wired for sound." And I'm like, "God, did he hear me say 'He should get his a** down here'?" And he might have, because I'm sittin' there talkin' to the person who's talkin' and in the back of the room I see Prince materialize. You know, not out of thin air, but suddenly, he's there. And I'm like, "Holy sh**, he's-- he's comin' to dress me down. He's gonna yell at me in front of these people. Like I wou--" So I'm like, "f** it, I'm gonna make him a part of it." And I was like, "What do you think, sir?" And everyone turns around, and they're like, "Oh, it's Prince!" And they applaud, and he comes in, sits down and starts-- he's listening to the group and lettin' me keep lead it, and then he starts joinin' in and talkin'. And if you know anything about Prince, he's very kind of quiet, solitary, likes to stay apart from people. But he starts joining in, gets real into it, and sh** like that. And I start hanging back. And I go to the back of the room and sit down and watch it. And then-- and so I'm getting to appreciate, like, Prince sittin' here talking to these people about spirituality and then about, like, radio and how radio s**s nowadays and-- And he-- nobody owns the air over his head so how come they can't play sh** he wants to hear? You know, he's going everywhere. And I'm like, "This is brilliant! Like I would watch this. I'd watch this documentary about how a man falls apart in front of a crowd of people." But I don't think that's the documentary he has in mind. So the next day, same thing. We're talking and he shows up. And I bring him in. And then he takes over. And he's in his element. He's just happy. He's sitting there like a min-- he's a-- the robe short of being a minister, just preachin' to the crowd, playing games with them too. Like games where people like go to the other side of the room and sh**. Like, it's like kindergarten. And he's goin' like, "All right, who believes that Jesus is the son of God?" You know and have people raise their hands, and he'd go, "OK everybody to this side of the room. Those who don't, go over there." He's going, "OK, we rule our lives by this." And he pulls a Bible out of his back pocket. And I'm like, "I didn't even know he had a back pocket!" 'Cause the outfits he f**in' wears don't really lend to pockets. But-- but not only that, but he's got a f**ing Bible in it. Pocket Bible. And I'm like, "This is f**ed up!" He's like, "We're gonna lead our lives according to this. Over there, you lead your lives according to what you do. So you have no laws. We have laws. Now, we want your women. So we're gonna go take your women. And there's nothing you can do about it. Women, come over here. There's nothing you can do about it because you don't lead your lives by this. But we can take your women." And I'm sittin' there going, "Is that what it says in the Bible?" Because if it is, I'm going back to church." And he's going through these parlor games and sh** and everyone's havin' a grand ol' time and he's in his element and he's real happy. And-- And I was kinda pleased to get to see a part of him that's-- that I'd never seen before in my life in everything I've ever watched from any interviews, any times he's done press. So the next day, he's like, "I don't think I'm gonna be able to-- to do it today 'cause I've got a concert. I've got a show to do at the St. Paul Excel Arena." He's like, "I'm gonna do a show at night and my leg hurts, so I'm not gonna do the Q&A. I'm not gonna join the Q&A today. You're on your own." And I say, "Well, why does your leg hurt?" He's like, "I just got something wrong with my knee." And I was like, "Do you think it's because you always wear heels?" And he's like, "What do you mean?" And I was like, "Well, maybe your knee wouldn't hurt so bad if you wore some sneakers once in a while." And he goes, "Kevin, it has nothing to do with sneakers." And I was like, "All right, man, I was just checking. You know, wh-- we need you, Prince." So I go outside and Stephanie's like, "You didn't just mention sneakers to him, did you?" And I was like, "Yeah, was that a bad thing?" She was like, "Yeah!" I was like, "Well, does he ever wear them and sh**?" She's like, "He has-- he does-- what is your fascination with Prince's sneakers?" I was like, "I've never seen him in sneakers. Does he wear sneakers?" She's like, "Sometimes he plays basketball, he'll put on some sneakers." I was like, "Get outta here! He takes his heels off and plays ball in sneakers?" She says, "Yeah." I say, "Where does he keep them?" She's like, "Let it go." I was like, "What does he wear when he plays basketball? Does he wear the outfits like he wears now?" Because every outfit looks like, you know, he's about to be, like: "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio." You know? And she's like, "No, he doesn't wear that. He wears, like, warm-up suits or so-- and stuff." I said, "Get outta here! He's got warm-up pants?" She says like, "Yeah, he wears warm-up-- he's got warm-up pants with the bu*tons down the side. And he wears, like, a sweatshirt." And I was like, "Wh-- Where-- Where does he keep it? Does he wear it under his clothes?" And she's like, "No, he's got them to the side." And I was like, "Well, are they made like-- like his outfits are made? Like are they a designer kind of basketball wear?" She's like, "No, he get's them from a store." I was like, "Prince shops at a f**ing store?" And she says, "No, no, we just have to-- we have to go out and get stuff for him sometimes." I said, "Where? Where do you get clothes for Prince?" And she's like, "Nordstrom's." I was like, "Nordstrom's? Nordstrom's sells stuff in Prince's size?" She's like, "Nordstrom's boys department." And at this point, I'm like, "That is so f**ing cute! That's what the documentary should be about, you know? Like I would watch a documentary where Prince is like, 'All right, I'm little, you know? I-- I'm a huge rock god but I'm little, and I have to get my clothes at the Nordstrom's boys department.' " But that's not the documentary he's interested in making. So-- so he skips that day. The next day he's supposed to come. And we're conducting one of the last sessions. And we're in a very small room. And we cram about 75 people into this room. It's really hot, really tight, lights boiling. Everyone's sweating, not just me this time. And we're going on and on for about three hours. So, one guy's sittin' there going like, "I think this album is about how Prince hates white people." And I'm like, "Really? I didn't-- I didn't get that at all! What makes you say that?" He's like, "Because he's singing about the Devil. How the Devil stole it all." And I'm like, "No, I think-- He's not talking about the 'white devil', he's talking about this Devil [imitates horns with his fingers] with the f**ing horns and sh**. Not the-- I don't think it's a race thing. Really? Race? Do you think so? That's interesting." And I can't really defend it because I don't f**ing know. And I'm sittin' there, it's all boiling, it's hot, and finally, they're like, "Prince is coming downstairs and he wants to talk to you in his office." And I'm like, "Well f** it, let's break the room and let everyone go out and grab some f**in' air, and I'll go talk to Prince." And I'm all pissed off at this point, 'cause I am pouring with sweat, fielding questions from a very defensive crowd. And I'm like, "The dude was supposed to be here two hours ago." So I go into his office and he's sitting behind his desk and he's playing with a computer. And I sit there for like a good 20 seconds, 30 seconds. He says nothing. And then he says, "These are pictures from the show last night." And he turns the computer to me. And I'm like, "That's really great. Hey we could've used ya about two hours ago up in the room. Things were gettin' a little tense." He's like, "Really?" And I was like, "Yeah, like there was some dude upstairs who was maintaining that you hate white people." He was like, "Why did he say that?" I said, "Because he said in the album, you talk about how the devil stole the music. And-- And he said you meant the 'white devil'. And I said you meant this Devil [puts his fingers up as horns] and I think that's right." And he was just like, "What'd he say? That the white people stole the music from the black people?" I was like, "Essentially that was his argument." And he goes, "Well, if the bra fits..." And I'm like, "What the f** does that mean, man?! If the bra f**ing fits?! I'm sweating balls for three hours fielding questions defending your Jehovah's Witnessism even though I know nothing about it! And even-- If the bra fits?! Like don't talk to me like I'm f**ing Apollonia! You know. And you want me to jump into the f**ing waters of Lake Minnetonka or something like that!" Like I'm f**ing at wit's end here with this man. I'm like, "This is what it sounds like when Kev's f**ing pissed." You know? And I'm like, "Well why don't you go down there and explain to them that that's not what you meant." And he's just like, "There's no point in telling them that. People are gonna take what they will from that." I was like, "Well, these people have been sittin' there for three hours. They expect you to come. I'm up there. They don't wanna see me anymore." And he's like, "I'll go out and talk to them for ten minutes. You wanna shoot it?" And I said, "Yeah, yeah, we'll shoot it. Okay. And I wanna get outta here early because today is Father's Day. And my kid's al-- My-- My-- My wife has been out there all week. And then her parents brought Harley out to meet us so we can spend Father's Day together." And he said, "Okay." So we get out on the floor, and I'm like, "Ladies and gentlemen: Prince." Everyone goes nuts and he sits down at the piano and he starts talking, we start shooting. And he starts talking and proceeds to talk for four hours. He's talks-- He's getting into his parlor games and he's having a great time and sh**. And-- And we're-- The guys are coming over to me and they're like, "Wh-- Are we still shooting?" And I'm like, "Keep f**ing shooting. Something might happen. Who knows? Maybe somebody'll get as pissed as I am and just take the guy out." And finally after the four hour mark one of the guys-- the camera guy comes over to me and he's like, "We're out." I'm like, "We ain't out till he says we're out." He's like, "No, we're out. We're out of stock." And I was like, "Well, change the tape." He's like, "We're completely out of tapes. We've blown through our entire stock. It's Sunday. There's no more stock to get." I was like, "What about the other camera?" He's like, "I think he's got maybe three minutes left." And I was like, "Holy sh**, we're out of f-- we're out of film? We're out of tape? Do we s-- Do we tell him? Or do we just pretend like we're shooting him?" And he's like, "It's your call." I'm like, "Just keep rolling. Keep-- Pretend. Just, make pretend. Go ahead." So they run out of tape. And we're still shooting Prince. Prince goes on for another hour, not even being recorded. He looks over to me periodically and I'm like: [Kevin gives thumbs up] So it ends and everyone gets up to go and this is the last session of recording. The week is over. And he kind of goes out a back door and sh** so he can avoid autographs and sh**. And I collect my stuff and Stephanie, who was kinda my chaperone all week, wasn't even there anymore. And I said to her before she left, I was like: "What i-- I'm-- This is the last day. What are we gonna do? Am I cutting this thing? Is somebody else cutting it?" She's like, "They've been cutting it already. He used some of the footage at his show in St. Paul last night." I'm like, "Get the f-- Really?" I mean, I-- I feel so useless. Like I'm sittin' around trying to maintain my composure and stuff's being already cut? I was like, "That's great. So you'll have a cut of the documentary done like next week." And she's like, "Yeah, but I wouldn't count on seeing it, really." And I was like, "Why?" She's like, "Well, frankly, a lot of this stuff never sees the light of day." And I was like, "What do you mean 'stuff never sees the light of day'?" She's like, "I'm his producer, right? I produced 50 music videos for him." I'm like, "That's awesome! Which ones?" And she's like, "You've never seen them." And I was like, "How-- How have I never seen them?" She's like, "Because they're for songs you've never heard." And I was like, "W-- Well where are they?" She's like, "He puts them in a vault." And I was like, "For what?" And she's like, "I don't know." And I was like, "When you say 'music videos', is it just him on stage playing?" She's like, "No, 50 fully-produced music videos with costumes and sets and-- everything." She's going, "Money was spent." And I was like, "And they've never been seen on MTV or-- or anything? BET, VH1?" She's like, "No. He just puts them in the vault." And I was like, "What? Like in case the f**ing world goes up we'll have entertainment?" She's like, "That's just the way Prince is." And so I'm like, "So all this time we're working on it, like, nobody may ever see it?" And she's like, "I don't know. I can't guarantee." I'm like, "Good Lord." So she's not there, day's over, I say goodbye to this other girl who was there, and she's like: "Do you want to say goodbye to Prince?" And I'm like, "You know what? He's busy, I won't bother him. I'm gonna take off. Goodbye." So I'm heading down to the car with the wife, and my wife's like, "You really should've said goodbye." And I was like, "You think so?" She's like, "Yeah, I mean you know, you were there all week and sh**. And he'd probably want to say goodbye to you." And I was like, "You're right. I'll go back in." So I go back in and I'm like, "You know what? I should say goodbye to Prince before I go. Is he around?" She's like, "Hold on, I'll try to find him." And he's o-- She goes away and I'm standin' out in the hallway and then she comes back out, and she's like: "He's in there working on some music." And I was like, "And?" And she was like, "He's just in there working on some music right now." I was like, "So-- I-- I should go?" And she's like, "Yeah." And I was like, "All right, tell him I-- I said goodbye, I guess." So I'm walking out to the car and I'm like, "I can't f**ing believe it. I-- I spent a week here shooting a documentary for which I wasn't paid, for which I hadn't real no-- really no pa**ion for. It was not my story. And the dude never even like said, 'Thank you.' Never once said like, 'Hey, thanks for taking the time out.' " That's a big thing with me. Like I'll do anything as long as somebody says, "Hey, thanks." Like I just-- gratitude's a big part of my life. So it was so weird spending all that time, the dude didn't have like two seconds to be like, you know: " 'Night, tubby." Or anything like that. Or just like: "I knew there was no film in that camera." Nothin'. Didn't say anything, just that was it. And never once said thank you. I was so f**ing cheesed, man. I was just like, "God damn, this is how-- this is why fans turn on people." Like, they love somebody, and that somebody kind of, you know, does something that disappoints them and they f**ing turn on them. But this is one instance where I felt like it was valid. I'm like, "Holy sh**, the dude didn't say f**ing thank you." All he had to do was say like, "Hey, man, thanks. See ya around." But that would've been fine. But the thing that really f**ing pissed me off the most, 'cause I'm out there a whole week, not once the guy ever once play f**ing "Batdance".