Kevin Bloody Wilson - I gave up wanking lyrics

I give up wa*kin this mornin I never thought that I could And I'm feeling better already This time I'm off it for good When I first wa*ked I thought I was so clever And all of me mates, they were mugs Thought I was the first Bloke here on Earth Who'd ever played with his slug It was me own little secret I never told anyone And the feelin I got, the first time I shot Was like chooks flying outta me bum So I'm givin up wa*kin' tomorrow I never thought that I could I'll be glad to get rid of these headaches Then I'll be off it for good I've wa*ked in some unlikely places The shower, the beach and the pool The dunny, a tram and the pictures Biology cla**es at school And once my grandmother caught me wa*king meself in me room But to her suprise I just shut me eyes and imagined her standin there nude I'm givin up wa*kin on tuesdee I never thought that I could Then I won't squint like I do now Then I'll be off it for good Me dad says it's gonna take will-power There really is no easy trick I honestly thought I'd need surgery To help get me hand orf me d*** Me dad's been a great inspiration He's really been a great help He knows what I go through And just what to do Cause he give it up yest'dee himself So I'm givin up wa*kin next Fridee I never thought that I could And I won't have to wear these thick gla**es Then I'll be off it for good So if you say you don't wa*k Your a liar And a fool if you say that you do So next time you see Prince Charles on TV Remember he wa*ked himself too So I'm givin up wa*kin come Christmas I never thought that I could And I'll sell me dog and me white cane And then I'll be off it for good I'm givin up wa*kin next Easter I never thought that I could And the warts on me hand will just vanish Then I'll be off it for good I'm givin up wa*kin' next August I never thought that I could.....