Kevin Bloody Wilson - Absolute Cunt Of A Day lyrics

I've had an absolute c*nt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song I've had an absolute c*nt of a day It started as a fart in bed Well it started as a fart but I sh** myself instead And the f**in' missus going off her f**in' head I've had an absolute c*nt of a day And running to the dunny like a ba*tard Trying to hold it in with me finger up me arse Skidding past the kids, those little c*nts laughing I've had an absolute c*nt of a day I've had an absolute c*nt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song I've had an absolute c*nt of a day No hot water so I had to take a cold shower Scrubbing sh** from every orifice which took a f**in' hour Then f**, f**, f**, no f**in' towel I've had an absolute c*nt of a day Pulling on my jeans and tripped Broke me f**in' nose and split my f**in' lip Got me co*k caught in me f**in' zip I've had an absolute c*nt of a day I've had an absolute c*nt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song I've had an absolute c*nt of a day Then driving myself to doctors Busted and bleeding, co*k swollen and f**in' throbbing Not a good time to be stopped by the cops I've had an absolute c*nt of a day The ba*tards didn't even let me explain Just cuffed me up and hauled me off to jail No f**in' phone call no f**in' bail I've had an absolute c*nt of a day I've had an absolute c*nt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song I've had an absolute c*nt of a day So your honour that's how it is That's exactly how it started and how it ended all up here And you f**in' lot laughing ain't making it too easy I've had an absolute c*nt of a day I'm in too much pain to plead And I don't give a f** if you don't believe me Just take me out the back and f**in' shoot me please I've had an absolute c*nt of a day I've had an absolute c*nt of a day Everything that could go wrong did go wrong So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song I've had an absolute c*nt of a day I've had an absolute c*nt of a day Just another one of them Absolute c*nt of a day