When I was a lad of three-foot-three Certain questions occurred to me, So I asked me father quite seriously To tell me the story 'bout the bird and bee. He stammered and he stuttered pathetically And this is what he said to me. He said, "The woman piaba and the man piaba And the Ton Ton call baka lemon gra**, The lily root, gully root, belly root uhmm, And the famous grandy scratch scratch. It was clear as mud but it covered the ground And the confusion made the brain go 'round. I went and ask a good friend of mine, Known to the world as Albert Einstein. He said "Son, from the beginning of time and creativity There existed the force of relativity Pi r square and a minus ten means a routine only when The solar system in one light year Make the Hayden planetarium disappear So if Mt Everest doesn't move I am positive that it will prove That the woman piaba and the man piaba And the Ton Ton call baka lemon gra**, The lily root, gully root, belly root uhmm, And the famous grandy scratch scratch. It was clear as mud but it covered the ground And the confusion made the brain go 'round. I grabbed a boat and went abroad In Baden Baden asked Sigmund Freud He said "Son, from your sad face remove the grouch Put the body down up on the couch I can see from your frustration a neurotic sublimation Hey love and hate is psychosomatic Your Rorsach shows that you're a peri pathetic It all started with a broken sibling In the words of the famous Rudyard Kipling That the woman piaba and the man piaba And the Ton Ton call baka lemon gra**, The lily root, gully root, belly root uhmm, And the famous grandy scratch scratch. Well I traveled far and I traveled wide And I don't even have me self a bride All the great men upon this earth Have confused me since my birth I've been over land and been over sea Trying to find answer 'bout the bird and bee But now that I am ninety three I don't give a darn you see If the woman piaba and the man piaba And the Ton Ton call baka lemon gra**, The lily root, gully root, belly root uhmm, And the famous grandy scratch scratch.