Justin Aswell - Lunatic Fringe lyrics

[Intro] "The worst thing to call somebody is 'crazy.' It's dismissive 'I don't understand this person, so they're crazy.' That's bullsh** Cause these people are not crazy, they're strong people Maybe their environment is a little sick." [Verse One] The pain in my eyes reflects off of the looking gla** I'm just another problem child with a crooked past If I had a moment of joy, I knew it wouldn't last I guess happiness is something that I just couldn't grasp Ever since adolescence, I've been an emotional wreck Suffering from constant panic attacks, holding my chest And my peers couldn't understand my anguish Cause to them, describing it was like speaking a foreign language When I told them how I felt, they'd say to just get over it And hearing that for years on end has made me an emotionless Manic depressive with sociopathic tendencies Who grew tired of praying for peace of mind on bended knees Even my mother asks why I can't think positive I've been through so much that I'm used to feeling ominous Its been hard for me to hold my anger Since I saw my dad in handcuffs on the front page of the local paper And from the community, my family was ostracized Perhaps that was the day that I truly lost my mind Now I'm Travis Bickle with bad ideas in my head Dreaming of ultraviolence, seeing all those people dead It's like I'm face-to-face with a different person entirely Who suffered quietly when he was shunned by society Now after all these years, anxiety has left me unhinged This is the life of the lunatic fringe [Chorus] How does it feel, to live on needles and pins? All ever I want is to be safe in my own skin It is my atonement for all of my countless sins This is the life of the lunatic fringe [Verse Two] I never wanted this insanity to define me But no matter what I do, it is the chain that binds me My insecurities are like a virus, eagerly eating me I can't remember the last person who treated me decently I'm hearing voices in the room when I'm all alone And now this mental institution, I call it home There's dark rings under my eyes from sleep deprivation And the doctors tell me that I need medication Music used to be my coping mechanism It soothed the savage beast when I was overwrought with pessimism It provided an escape for me since I was stuck in hell Its my only talent, I ain't qualified to do nothing else But since my mind has been torn asunder The only pa**ion I had no longer brings me comfort Now it just drives me to drink, much to my disdain Throwin' shots of coke and vodka to help me hide the pain You wanna know the reason I'm writing this? It's cause through it all, I'm still seeking enlightenment Searching for the path that's leading to righteousness Hoping that I might have a chance against these demons I'm fighting with But the road to hell is paved with innocent intentions And God ain't splitting hairs, as if I didn't mention But its alright, I'm used to being scrutinized If I know my fate, why don't I just commit suicide?! My clarity is a curse, preparing me for the worst I know I'll be forgotten when they bury me in the dirt But until then, I'll be forever fighting my own war Cause my sins are too heavy for me to ever atone for [Chorus] 2x [Outro] "You right... I AM crazy But you know what else? I don't give a f**!"