Junot Díaz - The Brief Wondrous Life of oscar Wao (Excerpt H) lyrics

“Did I try to help him with his girl situation? Share some of my playerly wisdom? / Of course I did. Problem was, when it came to the mujeres, my roommate was like no one on the planet. On the one hand, he had the worst case of no-toto-itits id ever seen. The last person to even come close was this poor Salvadorian kid I know in high school who was burned all over his face, couldn't get no girls ever because he looked like the phantom of the opera. Well: Oscar had it worse than him. At least Jeffery could claim an honest medical condition. What could Oscar claim? That it was Saurons fault? Dude weighed 307 pounds, for f**s sake! Talked like a star trek computer! The real irony was that you never met a kid who wanted a girl so f**ing bad. I mean, sh**, I thought I was into females, but no one, and I mean no one, was into the like Oscar was. To him they were the beginning and end, the Alpha and omega, the DC and the Marvel. Homes had it bad, couldn't so much as see a cute girl without breaking into shakes. Developed crushes out of nothing- must have had at least two dozen high-level ones that first semester alone. Not that any of these sh**s ever came to anything. How could they? Oscar's idea of a G was to talk about role-playing games! How f**ing crazy is that?"(173-174)