Julie Andrews - Burlington Bertie From Bow lyrics

I'm Bert, p'raps you've heard of me Bert, you've had word of me, Jogging along, hearty and strong Living on plates of fresh air I dress up in fashion And when I am feeling depressed I shave from my cuff all the whiskers and fluff Stick my hat on and toddle up West I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten thirty And saunter along like a toff I walk down the Strand with my gloves on my hand Then I walk down again with them off I'm all airs and graces, correct easy paces Without food so long I've forgot where my face is I'm Bert, Bert, I haven't a shirt But my people are well off you know. Nearly everyone knows me from Smith to Lord Rosebr'y, I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow. I stroll with Lord Hurlington, Roll in The Burlington Call for Champagne, walk out again Come back and borrow the ink I live most expensive Like Tom Lipton I'm in the swim He's got so much 'oof', he sleeps on the roof And I live in the room over him. I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten thirty And saunter along Temple Bar As round there I skip I keep shouting 'Pip Pip!' And the darn'd fools think I'm in my car At Rothchilds I swa*k it My body I plank it On his front door step with 'The Mail' for a blanket I'm Bert, Bert, and Rothchild was hurt He said ' You can't sleep there' I said 'Oh' He said 'I'm Rothchild sonny!' I said 'That's damn'd funny, I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow' I smile condescendingly While they're extending me Cheer upon cheer when I appear Captain with my polo team So strict are my people They're William the Conqueror's strain If they ever knew I'd been talking to you Why they'd never look at me again I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten thirty And reach Kempton park around three I stand by the rail, when a horse is for sale And you ought to see Wooton watch me I lean on some awning while Lord Derby's yawning Then he bids two thousand and I bid Good Morning I'm Bert, Bert, I'd buy one, a cert But where would I keep it you know I can't let my man see me in bed with a gee-gee I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow! My pose, Tho' ironical Shows that my monocle Holds up my face, keeps it in place, Stops it from slipping away. Cigars, I smoke thousands, I usually deal in The Strand But you've got to take care when you're getting them there Or some idiot might stand on your hand. I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten thirty And Buckingham Palace I view. I stand in the yard while they're changing the guard And the queen shouts across "Toodle oo"! The Prince of Wales' brother along with some other Slaps me on the back and says "Come and see Mother" But I'm Bert, Bert, and Royalty's hurt, When they ask me to dine I say no. I've just had a banana with Lady Diana I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow.